Faith Runs Deep

Today is Tuesday a strange day to think of my religion or faith. But today is the Inaugural Mass of Pope Francis. Most who read probably did not watch the Mass on TV. But I have been watching the events from the Vatican for the last few weeks.
It is funny in 1978 I was 10 my mother sat us down in front of the TV and said you may not see an election of a Pope again until you are an adult. As strange as learning about the white or black smoke. It was still fresh in our minds less than 2 months later when we were sitting in the same place again. Watching it again. I did not know that we now would not see it again until we were adults. I know now it would not be until 2005 in April. I had come home from work for lunch and again sat and watched the white smoke. My car died on the way back to work. The following day I got a new car. Now here in the same house I watched in 2005 in 2013 I again watched for the smoke. It did not come until I had left for work. When I got to work I saw the news that a new Pope had been elected.

In my life my Grandma Helen went to Rome and visited the Vatican. It was the same year as my First Communion. She brought me back a crystal rosary in a pink plastic box with a picture of the Vatican on it. I have only carried it on special occasions but twice last year. My nieces Emily and Ashley and nephew Paul's First Communion and for my Grandmother's Funeral.

Today I watched the Mass and thought of my Catholic Heritage. My parents both grew up in Catholic households. My mom went to Catholic School. Grandma Helen was a pillar of the Church. Someone I could not live up to her standards and Aunt Jan who did readings for church and spent time in many Abbeys with Monks and Priests.

I do not think my sisters sat their kids in front of the TV so I do not think the importance was impressed upon them even though they are at the same ages we were for the elections of both John Paul and John Paul II. So will the tradition carry on. Will they be faithful?

Pope Francis. First of all I love the name and can not believe there has never been a Pope named Francis before. St. Francis of Assisi and his animals. Of course that speaks to me. And his vow to poverty. In this day and age I think it is a bold sign for a man of his stature to make a point to go back to his hotel and pay his bill himself. Just seeing that act made me think this man has character and pride as well as a true sense of what is right.

I don't even believe that he has to live a life of poverty but to live a life of a more common man. Not to be above the rest of us but stand with us in our hour of need. Not to pray over you but hold your hand when you need it to be held.  I saw an example of that this week at church myself. Ther Rev. Ramiro Ros filling in this week for Vicki while she holds the hand of her mother as she fights her battle with Leukimia.

Rev. Ros spoke of a sad time in a friends life after he had just become a grandfather. His grandson suddenly passed away. He said God gives us children but doesn't tell us for how long. Words that of course spoke to me. I nudged Brian. Sometimes I don't see that things touch him like me. Well I start crying so you can not miss when words like this touch me. But Rev went on to say the "Peace of God that surpasses all understanding." Only through Grace and Mercy in the midst of awful painful situations when you feel this Grace. It is as though something dark has been lifted and you are now free. I had a similar feeling once before. I was at church at this Lenten time of the year. The priest that was saying Mass said that if you come to confession this week. I will hear your confession and take your pain away with me back to Chicago. I thought about it hard. I do not like confession no one wants to dwell on the times you have done wrong or not done right. But on Wednesday night I went I was there early. I waited and did my confession and as I spoke to the Priest I told him of my sins but also that his words had brought me there. I wanted the pain to go that I carry with me. And not that it was a miracle but I was suprized that I did feel a weight lifted and when I think of those times I think of him not even remembering me but taking my pain with him. So as the  Reverend said at the end of his Sermon, "Bring the situation to God and even for the 100th time He will give you the Peace of God."

Normally when we leave church we go out the side door. We do not stick around Brian and I both have to go to work. But this Sunday I said lets go out the back. We followed the crowd. And stopped for a moment and Brian shook hands with the Reverend. I said Brian tell him of your loss. Of course this is not in his nature. He like me would rather suffer in silence alone at this moment. The Reverend moved me after Brian told him that he had recently lost 3 generations in a murderous act. The Reverend hugged Brian and prayed for peace to come to him. Now just thinking about it I can feel the tears. I know to most of the world that was 10 months ago but it is still as fresh as a paper cut. I do not know that the thoughts and memories from last May will ever be less fresh in my mind but I pray for Brian and his family. I pray for the Peace and Grace of God and today I also pray for Pope Francis. Who I believe after just a week he understands this Grace and Mercy and how special it is to be chosen as he has.

Amen.

Convictions

Like that title? Makes you wonder. Am I talking about a trial? Well in a way. I spoke to the Mayor of Clearwater this morning. He woke me, because I had left a message at his office last week. I said that I did not like the idea of selling the property City Hall is sitting on to the Marine Aquarium. He sees it as a move forward or that is what someone has told him to see. We have a 50 year old City Hall that is in disrepair and the Aquarium wants to purchase it. My first thought was but I did not say was I live in a house that is almost 60 years old and when something goes wrong I fix it. I can not afford and did not think the City could either afford to tear down a building and replace it because of some leaking faucets or broken floor tiles. At my house I would hire someone to fix it or figure out how to do it myself.

I offered that I felt the Harborview center was a more appropriate piece of property and that it could more easily draw people downtown. From Crest Lake where the sign points to downtown and used to say to the beach. Could  now direct people to the Winter exhibit. It is funny that the Mayor then countered with that City Hall is only a block from the Harborview Center and I thought and isn't it ironic that the way the City directs people to the Winter Exhibit is from Fort Harrison instead of using the large signs near Crest Lake or any other signage to direct people down Cleveland Street. That seems strange to me now. Do they not want downtown to succeed or do they not want people to see that it is not successful?


Sea Shell Motel


All of this reminds me of when I was young and my parents were active in the political circles. They would pass out pamphlets, go door to door and drive in caravans of people in support of one candidate or another. My mother was very outspoken when it came to tearing down the old Sea Shell Motel and building the Holiday Inn Surfside. The first tall building built on the North End of Clearwater Beach except for Mandalay Shores. If you don't know what buildings I am referring to. Now it is the Surfside Double Tree and 880 Mandaly that has been standing all my life. I know why it was a big deal. Letting one high rise lends room for another and then another and how many condos can the North End of Clearwater Beach hold. Well I am pretty sure that we have reached the limit of what will ever be lived in considering a good portion are not lived in. But somehow developers are like used car sales men. They can sell ice to Eskimos and a Condo to a bank every time. I used to think what difference does a hotel make or a old building being torn down. But I know now that when Calvary Baptist Church moved out to McMullen Booth and they built what oh yes, a condo building that is what, again empty instead of using it for the Library that was also in disrepair and needing to be replaced. Seeing a pattern. This is where my convictions come. I do not know what is wrong with preserving a beautiful old building that is in good shape. Pinellas County has reached it's saturation point and honestly does not need another condo unit.

I know that most people that live here have not lived here all their lives most probably did not go to school here but those of us that did see pride in saying the attended the Original CHS. Sorry to those other CHS graduates that lived in East Lake Woodlands and went to the New School that barley has 20 years of history under its belt. I liked that I went to a school that had teachers that had gone to school and had some of the same teachers I did. Some of these people I still know and have some of the same values that I do to preserve what is good in this community. Keep an old house as the Clearwater Historical Society.

So this conviction I have infuriates me when I think about what will be left for my nieces and nephews when they are grown. Will they believe that only new things are good and old things should just be thrown out or torn down. Or should they learn that keeping old things in good shape is a way in showing the value to what we have in this world and not everything or everyone is disposable.