After last weeks post a friend of mine said that maybe it is time I write a novel. I have been thinking about this for the last week or so. I have started short stories, written poems and posted to this blog over 70 times but a novel. That is a vast undertaking. Just for information sake a post to this blog usually on a good night I will spend an hour on it. I will read it through multiple times before spell checking and reading it to Brian aloud and then posting it. I then promptly turn off the computer and do not think about it until the next day when I will re-read what I wrote the previous night and grin or cry or whatever I was trying to get out of it the night before. One thing about the words I write, they are the voice in my head. That to me is like the talking to your best friend. Sometimes it is the only voice that understands me and that is usually the voice of reason except for when it is ridiculous. Anxiety always makes me wonder how I can know something is in my head and yet I still believe it to be true. But that is for another night. Tonight it is about reading and writing.
I have ideas for a novel in my head. It has to be fiction because I could not just write the facts. But I love fiction that is about real people. Some of my favorite books have Beatrix Potter and her animals as characters. The Cottage Tales of Beatrix Potter by Susan Wittig Albert. There have been at least 8 of these novels and I have loved them all. Murder mystery with a twist of pixies and fairies and animals that talk like the cat named Tabbitha Twitchet and an owl they call the Professor. These are some great fantasy novels with a bit of history in them.
Any book that includes a map is for me. I love to know where we are going and how we are going to get there. By train or bus or horse and buggy. Books that were written before all of our modern conveniences are great. You know that people went to bed at dark to save the candles for when they needed them. And got up with the sun to start a new day. I have recently finished a book called Blue Highways which was written about 1980 about a trip on the small roads of the US around the perimeter and the people the author William Least Heat-Moon met along the way. I loved the view from his windshield and the people he met and picked up.
Another book I recently finished was by Bill Bryson A Walk in the Woods. This story took me on a trip hiking part of the Appalachian Trail. Something that I have decided that the next time we are in North Carolina we are going to go to Hot Springs where the trail cuts through town and walk a bit of it. Just so I can say I walked it. I would love to have the ambition to walk more than a few miles but I don't think I do. At least not right now. But today I saw the movie by the same name and it is as funny as the book. In the book as I read I found the character Bill took along on his trip to be funny and pretty much he is what he is matter of fact. Not in any shape to make the trip east from Iowa let alone to hike the AT as they refer to it on the trail. I loved the views in the movie and I loved some of the human drama that would come along with just such a trip but I missed what I thought was one of the funniest parts of the book. Towards the beginning of their hike Bill would get ahead of his friend Katz and at times wait for up to an hour for him to catch up. He also sometimes would go back looking for him to make sure he had not died. There is a bit that was in the book but not the movie about Katz flinging his food off of a cliff to lighten the load he was carrying. The description in the book was laugh out loud funny. Nick Nolte as Katz an unlikely person played the perfect character. I found him to remind me a lot of my father which I don't know if either would find it to be a compliment but is true. I thought after the movie I wonder if Bill Bryson picked Robert Redford to play him? I mean how often do you get to pick who plays you? And his wife thought man I could of had Robert Redford. Maybe not.
So I have talked a lot about books I have read and like to read but none about the one I want to write. Let's not say want but must write. Here is my biggest stumbling block. What I want to write or need to write is not a trip down a trail I truly want to walk all the way through. I have walked a section here or there through this story in my head but there are parts I am not ready to go through and I have to take others along and I don't know if they are ready for the trip either. The weather is a source of concern because it can be very hot and sometimes very cold where we are going. Parts that I have already completed not the book but the sections of the trail were hard. Not all the characters experienced the same things on their sections of the trail. Some will not even recognize the trail to be the same one they walked but I promise it is. Even the ending is different for each of the characters. Some will go back to Iowa and go to the state fair as they have for the last 39 years but others... Well they are my concern. I must take into account the lives of the other characters on the trail. So in the mean time I have projects that I am working on my kids travel book which takes them on family trips to places they may not find interesting but will find all kinds of real history and fun along the way. I also have a children's book that the illustrations are being worked on now and I hope will be published in the not to distant future.
So until we meet again. Walk softly and carry a big stick. Or just stand back and enjoy the view from where you are. But either way. Open a book they are full of adventures.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
The Empath in Me
Empath, Empathetic, Empathy: Are defined as a person who identifies or feels the thoughts and or attitudes of others. Fairly new term by a German philosopher Rudolf Lotze he thought that one looking at art could impress their own sensibilities onto it. To me that says that you see what you want in the image. If blue skies make you sad you may be sad to see a picture with blue skies? A friend of mine had read an article online about Empaths and said that it was me. Not really sure if I fit the definition but I found a web site that had a list of 30 common traits of an empath. So I went down the list and thought I would see how many apply to me. Not sure after reading the list if they are signs or symptoms if it is a gift or a diagnosis. Not sure if it is good or bad not even sure if it is me.
I can tell you what is me. I am the person that sees something like lets say an ambulance in front of a building that I am about to go in and visit my mother and I think oh God, something is wrong with mom. And I think most people would walk in and find the person they are looking for fine and and feel relieved. No that would not be me. I see a couple medical staff people standing over my mom with machines hooked up to her checking her blood pressure and her oxygen levels and say she was feeling weak and thought she was going to pass out. She now looks worse than she has looked in weeks and I thought we were making progress. So enough about my life lets see if I am an Empath or at least Empathetic
1. Just knowing. Well I often feel as though I know things before they happen or I will think a thought and then it happens. May not have anything to do with me and I may have no way of affecting the thing to happen. But still somehow I know.
2. Public places may be overwhelming. This one is a no for me. I do not like to be crowded together with people but I do not mind being out in public.
3. Feeling others emotion., Sometimes I do feel like I know what others are feeling but I have always based that on similar experiences.
4. Watching violence is unbearable. I have never been able to watch blood and guts movies but more recently I can not see or even hear stories of violence or cruelty. It is too upsetting to me. After Hurricane Katrina I told Brian we could not watch anymore about it on TV if I can not go help I cannot know anymore.
5. You know when someone is not being honest. I can call Brian out on a fib quicker than anyone else but I usually get a feeling if someone is not telling the truth. On the reverse side it is nearly impossible for me to lie about a lot of things.
6. Picking up physical symptoms of others. I do not think this applies to me but my mother will definitely feel bad if I say that I do.
7. Digestive problems. No, not me again. Got a stomach like a steal trap.
8. Always looking out for the underdog. I do feel like the loosing team should win but as well when someone has a weakness I like to share their strength.
9. Others will want to offload their problems on you. People have always felt they can share with me. Again I always know when I need to share with others. To show that they aren't alone.
10. Constant Fatigue. I have had problems with this as an adult. Some have been caused by physical problems. I am exhausted or feel drained a lot.
11. Addictive personality. Another no. But definitely a family trait. I think that I avoid things that I could be addicted to.
12. Drawn to healing. This one also mentioned an interest in supernatural. This I have an interest in anything that can not be explained. I just want to understand Why or How it works. My father's mom used to go to all kinds of churches because she wanted to understand what they believe. Even healers. I have always found that fact to be very interesting.
13. Creative. My imagination is incredible and I love art, writing, photography and music.
14. Love of nature and animals. I am not an outdoors person but I love it when the weather is nice. I have always loved animals. I cannot see an animal in need of help without helping. Have to limit myself when it comes to homeless animals. I could take them all home if I could take care of them. I do know the difference.
15. Need for solitude. I am happy home alone in the silence. I drive now a lot in silence. I even realized a few weeks ago the reason I do not like the electric toothbrush is that I do not like the noise. I really prefer silence or music.
16. Get bored or distracted easily. My imagination can go down a path unnecessarily when listening to another person talk. But as long as I am busy at work it is easy to stay focused on the task at hand.
17. Finds it impossible to do things the do not enjoy. Could be considered lazy. I wish it was impossible but most of the time I can be guilted into whatever someone else wants for the good of the whole.
18. Strives for the truth. When someone lies and I catch them I am very disappointed. All I ask is for the truth.
19. Always looking for answers. This goes back to wanting to understand things and how they work and always why.
20. Likes adventures. Adventures within reason. Attainable goals. I enjoy the water but don't need to scuba dive in it. Like to fly but don't need to jump out of an airplane.
21. Abhors clutter. This is a Big NO. I wish it bothered me more but I can tolerate clutter as long as I know where everything is.
22. Loves to daydream. Favorite pass time other than reading.
23. Finds rules and routines imprisoning. I like rules. Not stupid rules and I decide what is stupid or not.
24. Prone to carry weight without overeating. Well I hope this is why but I believe I eat more calories than I work off and that is why I am heavy.
25. Excellent listener. I would be a good counselor but the problem is that I would then worry for the people I counseled. So maybe not so good at it after all.
26. Intolerant of narcosis. Used to work for one. Now I don't. I could list all the reasons but they already know because they know everything.
27. Feels the days of the week. This was confusing at first but it is like being excited about Friday even if you have to work all weekend. I do this sometimes. Or dread Monday even though I don't have to work.
28. Will not choose to by vintage or antique things. This is in regards to the energy the item carries. I feel when buying something that is old or used I sometimes wonder about the woman who owned an old cookbook or a person that previously read the book I am reading. So no but maybe I wouldn't buy something that I felt a negative energy about but I don't think that has ever happened.
29. Senses the energy of food. This is the sensing of the energy from the animal that you are eating. I cannot think about this because I could not eat it if I thought about it.
30. Can be shy, aloof or moody. Sometimes to the negative. I have said that my happiness pendulum often swings to sad more than most. I can be withdrawn when I worry. It is hard to be happy and worrying at the same time. When I am up and on my A game. I am a fun loving person. But when I am not, I am not.
Ok. So I have counted and I am feel that 19 of the signs do apply in some way to me. The article says that if at least half apply to my that I am an empath. So I am still interested in this theory I can not base my future on one article. The things I believe apply to me apply and the things that don't don't. I don't think most put this much time and consideration into most internet survey's but again. That would not be me.
Giving credit where it is due. I got my list from the following website. http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html
I can tell you what is me. I am the person that sees something like lets say an ambulance in front of a building that I am about to go in and visit my mother and I think oh God, something is wrong with mom. And I think most people would walk in and find the person they are looking for fine and and feel relieved. No that would not be me. I see a couple medical staff people standing over my mom with machines hooked up to her checking her blood pressure and her oxygen levels and say she was feeling weak and thought she was going to pass out. She now looks worse than she has looked in weeks and I thought we were making progress. So enough about my life lets see if I am an Empath or at least Empathetic
1. Just knowing. Well I often feel as though I know things before they happen or I will think a thought and then it happens. May not have anything to do with me and I may have no way of affecting the thing to happen. But still somehow I know.
2. Public places may be overwhelming. This one is a no for me. I do not like to be crowded together with people but I do not mind being out in public.
3. Feeling others emotion., Sometimes I do feel like I know what others are feeling but I have always based that on similar experiences.
4. Watching violence is unbearable. I have never been able to watch blood and guts movies but more recently I can not see or even hear stories of violence or cruelty. It is too upsetting to me. After Hurricane Katrina I told Brian we could not watch anymore about it on TV if I can not go help I cannot know anymore.
5. You know when someone is not being honest. I can call Brian out on a fib quicker than anyone else but I usually get a feeling if someone is not telling the truth. On the reverse side it is nearly impossible for me to lie about a lot of things.
6. Picking up physical symptoms of others. I do not think this applies to me but my mother will definitely feel bad if I say that I do.
7. Digestive problems. No, not me again. Got a stomach like a steal trap.
8. Always looking out for the underdog. I do feel like the loosing team should win but as well when someone has a weakness I like to share their strength.
9. Others will want to offload their problems on you. People have always felt they can share with me. Again I always know when I need to share with others. To show that they aren't alone.
10. Constant Fatigue. I have had problems with this as an adult. Some have been caused by physical problems. I am exhausted or feel drained a lot.
11. Addictive personality. Another no. But definitely a family trait. I think that I avoid things that I could be addicted to.
12. Drawn to healing. This one also mentioned an interest in supernatural. This I have an interest in anything that can not be explained. I just want to understand Why or How it works. My father's mom used to go to all kinds of churches because she wanted to understand what they believe. Even healers. I have always found that fact to be very interesting.
13. Creative. My imagination is incredible and I love art, writing, photography and music.
14. Love of nature and animals. I am not an outdoors person but I love it when the weather is nice. I have always loved animals. I cannot see an animal in need of help without helping. Have to limit myself when it comes to homeless animals. I could take them all home if I could take care of them. I do know the difference.
15. Need for solitude. I am happy home alone in the silence. I drive now a lot in silence. I even realized a few weeks ago the reason I do not like the electric toothbrush is that I do not like the noise. I really prefer silence or music.
16. Get bored or distracted easily. My imagination can go down a path unnecessarily when listening to another person talk. But as long as I am busy at work it is easy to stay focused on the task at hand.
17. Finds it impossible to do things the do not enjoy. Could be considered lazy. I wish it was impossible but most of the time I can be guilted into whatever someone else wants for the good of the whole.
18. Strives for the truth. When someone lies and I catch them I am very disappointed. All I ask is for the truth.
19. Always looking for answers. This goes back to wanting to understand things and how they work and always why.
20. Likes adventures. Adventures within reason. Attainable goals. I enjoy the water but don't need to scuba dive in it. Like to fly but don't need to jump out of an airplane.
21. Abhors clutter. This is a Big NO. I wish it bothered me more but I can tolerate clutter as long as I know where everything is.
22. Loves to daydream. Favorite pass time other than reading.
23. Finds rules and routines imprisoning. I like rules. Not stupid rules and I decide what is stupid or not.
24. Prone to carry weight without overeating. Well I hope this is why but I believe I eat more calories than I work off and that is why I am heavy.
25. Excellent listener. I would be a good counselor but the problem is that I would then worry for the people I counseled. So maybe not so good at it after all.
26. Intolerant of narcosis. Used to work for one. Now I don't. I could list all the reasons but they already know because they know everything.
27. Feels the days of the week. This was confusing at first but it is like being excited about Friday even if you have to work all weekend. I do this sometimes. Or dread Monday even though I don't have to work.
28. Will not choose to by vintage or antique things. This is in regards to the energy the item carries. I feel when buying something that is old or used I sometimes wonder about the woman who owned an old cookbook or a person that previously read the book I am reading. So no but maybe I wouldn't buy something that I felt a negative energy about but I don't think that has ever happened.
29. Senses the energy of food. This is the sensing of the energy from the animal that you are eating. I cannot think about this because I could not eat it if I thought about it.
30. Can be shy, aloof or moody. Sometimes to the negative. I have said that my happiness pendulum often swings to sad more than most. I can be withdrawn when I worry. It is hard to be happy and worrying at the same time. When I am up and on my A game. I am a fun loving person. But when I am not, I am not.
Ok. So I have counted and I am feel that 19 of the signs do apply in some way to me. The article says that if at least half apply to my that I am an empath. So I am still interested in this theory I can not base my future on one article. The things I believe apply to me apply and the things that don't don't. I don't think most put this much time and consideration into most internet survey's but again. That would not be me.
Giving credit where it is due. I got my list from the following website. http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html
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