Hurricane Helene

 I have not written here in quite sometime, but I never forget this space. A place where I am free to be me and I truly write for myself. This morning I woke after a day of working and not knowing what was happening outside because the storm shutters were closed at my work, so it was like night all day long. The storm I speak of is Helene. She will go down in the archives of Florida storms that changed lives forever. There was water last night in places that have never seen water so high and winds higher than most have seen in quite some time. 

I worked all day yesterday and when it was time to leave I prayed everything would be ok on my short drive home. Winds at over 50 miles per hour, but strangely very little rain. This huge storm Helene just 90 miles away in the Gulf of Mexico and as she moved from the Yucatan Peninsula Wednesday organizing and gathering her strength. She twirled her dress around her in a counterclockwise spin. Dresses like that you just don't know how wide they are.  I am sure she didn't know how far-reaching her bands would cause havoc. 

In 24 hours she (Helene) traveled 650 miles from Cancun, Mexico to Perry, Fl. I have not watched the news but that area will feel the brunt of her rath. The girl probably didn't know her own strength she was so disorganized a week ago not sure she would ever leave the Mexican coast but here she made it across the Gulf gathering herself together and pushing onshore. She pushed water all along the Florida coast into places that hadn't seen water this high before. 

This is where I get to the point. I walked into the living room last night with the winds whipping outside at 50-80 miles per hour and everything blowing around and my husband was watching football on tv. That wasn't the crazy part for a Thursday night in football season that is normal but thinking about the wind outside and the water rising in not far away places to the point that people are trapped in their homes they thought they would be safe in. The thought was surreal. The world out there beyond Helene's reaches was just cruising along. People went out to eat and to the movies across the country as Floridians sat hunkered down.

The sound of a fire truck just stopped me and made me check the Active Calls website for 911 in Pinellas County. It is 5 am as I checked the police site first and a bunch of Traffic Control calls for lights out on the street but the county site shocked me usually it would be medical issues but this morning structure fires. There are currently 10 burning within the county. I am sure mostly transformers blowing or power lines down causing them but that is a lot with over 80 vehicles responding. That will stretch thin an already tired bunch of men and women. And another fire truck just passed by.

All of this has made me think of the people in war-torn parts of the world who are just trying to survive the day and wish for normalcy of work and days off. Not afraid to walk down the street or get on a bus. We so take for granted the luxury of the normalcy we have on most days. We go to the store and there is food on the shelves and at the gas station we can fill up our cars. There is no smell of smoke or bombs. There aren't buildings collapsed that were standing yesterday but here today, I feel for those people. Those I don't know. Those I can't see. I feel their pain. Their true need for normalcy in their lives. I also feel for those less far away along the Gulf Coast. People who have never had water in their houses now wonder when it will recede. 

The worries in my life that some days are debilitating and are mostly just life's ups and downs. I struggle with them trying to control the outcome. Sometimes I need to just ride the wave and things will work out. 

I am not sure there is a moral to the story. Just be kind. You never know what others are struggling with. You don't know their pain and they certainly don't know yours. Show empathy for someone experiencing something you can't imagine. For one day you may wish for theirs.

Amen. Please be careful out there.

The Empath in Me

Empath, Empathetic, Empathy: Are defined as a person who identifies or feels the thoughts and or attitudes of others. Fairly new term by a German philosopher Rudolf Lotze he thought that one looking at art could impress their own sensibilities onto it. To me that says that you see what you want in the image. If blue skies make you sad you may be sad to see a picture with blue skies? A friend of mine had read an article online about Empaths and said that it was me. Not really sure if I fit the definition but I found a web site that had a list of 30 common traits of an empath. So I went down the list and thought I would see how many apply to me. Not sure after reading the list if they are signs or symptoms if it is a gift or a diagnosis. Not sure if it is good or bad not even sure if it is me.

I can tell you what is me. I am the person that sees something like lets say an ambulance in front of a building that I am about to go in and visit my mother and I think oh God, something is wrong with mom. And I think most people would walk in and find the person they are looking for fine and and feel relieved. No that would not be me. I see a couple medical staff people standing over my mom with machines hooked up to her checking her blood pressure and her oxygen levels and say she was feeling weak and thought she was going to pass out. She now looks worse than she has looked in weeks and I thought we were making progress. So enough about my life lets see if I am an Empath or at least Empathetic

1. Just knowing. Well I often feel as though I know things before they happen or I will think a thought and then it happens. May not have anything to do with me and I may have no way of affecting the thing to happen. But still somehow I know.
2. Public places may be overwhelming.  This one is a no for me. I do not like to be crowded together with people but I do not mind being out in public.
3. Feeling others emotion., Sometimes I do feel like I know what others are feeling but I have always based that on similar experiences.
4. Watching violence is unbearable. I have never been able to watch blood and guts movies but more recently I can not see or even hear stories of violence or cruelty. It is too upsetting to me. After Hurricane Katrina I told Brian we could not watch anymore about it on TV if I can not go help I cannot know anymore.
5. You know when someone is not being honest. I can call Brian out on a fib quicker than anyone else but I usually get a feeling if someone is not telling the truth. On the reverse side it is nearly impossible for me to lie about a lot of things.
6. Picking up physical symptoms of others. I do not think this applies to me but my mother will definitely feel bad if I say that I do.
7. Digestive problems. No, not me again. Got a stomach like a steal trap.
8. Always looking out for the underdog. I do feel like the loosing team should win but as well when someone has a weakness I like to share their strength.
9. Others will want to offload their problems on you. People have always felt they can share with me. Again I always know when I need to share with others. To show that they aren't alone.
10. Constant Fatigue. I have had problems with this as an adult. Some have been caused by physical problems. I am exhausted or feel drained a lot.
11. Addictive personality. Another no. But definitely a family trait. I think that I avoid things that I could be addicted to.
12. Drawn to healing. This one also mentioned an interest in supernatural. This I have an interest in anything that can not be explained. I just want to understand Why or How it works. My father's mom used to go to all kinds of churches because she wanted to understand what they believe. Even healers. I have always found that fact to be very interesting.
13. Creative. My imagination is incredible and I love art, writing, photography and music.
14. Love of nature and animals. I am not an outdoors person but I love it when the weather is nice. I have always loved animals. I cannot see an animal in need of help without helping. Have to limit myself when it comes to homeless animals. I could take them all home if I could take care of them. I do know the difference.
15. Need for solitude.  I am happy home alone in the silence. I drive now a lot in silence. I even realized a few weeks ago the reason I do not like the electric toothbrush is that I do not like the noise. I really prefer silence or music.
16. Get bored or distracted easily. My imagination can go down a path unnecessarily when listening to another person talk. But as long as I am busy at work it is easy to stay focused on the task at hand.
17. Finds it impossible to do things the do not enjoy. Could be considered lazy. I wish it was impossible but most of the time I can be guilted into whatever someone else wants for the good of the whole.
18. Strives for the truth. When someone lies and I catch them I am very disappointed. All I ask is for the truth.
19. Always looking for answers. This goes back to wanting to understand things and how they work and always why.
20. Likes adventures. Adventures within reason. Attainable goals. I enjoy the water but don't need to scuba dive in it. Like to fly but don't need to jump out of an airplane.
21. Abhors clutter. This is a Big NO. I wish it bothered me more but I can tolerate clutter as long as I know where everything is.
22. Loves to daydream. Favorite pass time other than reading.
23. Finds rules and routines imprisoning. I like rules. Not stupid rules and I decide what is stupid or not.
24. Prone to carry weight without overeating. Well I hope this is why but I believe I eat more calories than I work off and that is why I am heavy.
25. Excellent listener. I would be a good counselor but the problem is that I would then worry for the people I counseled. So maybe not so good at it after all.
26. Intolerant of narcosis. Used to work for one. Now I don't. I could list all the reasons but they already know because they know everything.
27. Feels the days of the week. This was confusing at first but it is like being excited about Friday even if you have to work all weekend. I do this sometimes. Or dread Monday even though I don't have to work.
28. Will not choose to by vintage or antique things. This is in regards to the energy the item carries. I feel when buying something that is old or used I sometimes wonder about the woman who owned an old cookbook or a person that previously read the book I am reading. So no but maybe I wouldn't buy something that I felt a negative energy about but I don't think that has ever happened.
29. Senses the energy of food. This is the sensing of the energy from the animal that you are eating. I cannot think about this because I could not eat it if I thought about it.
30. Can be shy, aloof or moody. Sometimes to the negative. I have said that my happiness pendulum often swings to sad more than most. I can be withdrawn when I worry. It is hard to be happy and worrying at the same time. When I am up and on my A game. I am a fun loving person. But when I am not, I am not.

Ok. So I have counted and I am feel that 19 of the signs do apply in some way to me. The article says that if at least half apply to my that I am an empath. So I am still interested in this theory I can not base my future on one article. The things I believe apply to me apply and the things that don't don't.  I don't think most put this much time and consideration into most internet survey's but again. That would not be me.

Giving credit where it is due. I got my list from the following website.  http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html