A Day at the Beach with Mom

So that contest I entered in March they announced the winner and it was not me. That is ok. Gave me the opportunity to write something new and I had the time and was not sleeping so I wrote. Now I read it back and I can feel that time and see myself sitting there with mom in the middle of the night. In case you are interested in the winner submission I have added a link to the page.
http://www.fla-keys.com/flashfiction/

Here is my submission to share with the rest of the world.

A Day at the Beach with Mom

    A young girl stands at the edge of the water and sees the sand and water, the blue sky and shells along the beach.

    That same girl comes back to the spot as a teenager she not only sees the sand and water but she feels it between her toes. In the blue sky she sees the white wispy clouds and feels the sharp edges of the shells in her hands.

    As a young woman she stands in that same spot feeling the warm water at the edge of the shore and the sand between her toes. The sky is still just as blue and the clouds as wispy. She smells the fresh air and hears the birds and the sharp edges of the shells are beautiful.

    The woman now middle aged stands along the same shore, loves the sand and water mixing between her toes. The blue skies, wispy clouds and fresh air seem much more intense than when she was young. The beautiful shells holding live creatures she tosses back in the water to ensure their safety. She knows the beauty she has held in her hand is forever in her heart. The birds direct her eyes out in the water to the boats passing by. Do they miss what I’ve seen my whole life or is the view just as beautiful from out there?

    Now an old woman it is much harder to get through the sand to the shore but that feel of the sand and water mixing between her toes is still as it has always been but now the clouds are harder for her to see in the sky and the fresh air brings a tear to her eyes. The shells colors and edges are not as sharp as when she was younger, she cannot toss the shells as far back as before but her heart still thinks she can. The birds still direct her eyes out and though she cannot see the boats they are still there. She breathes in the fresh air as though it may be her last breath, and remembers the young girl without a care in the world and the teenager that saw the world could be rough at times but as a young woman she stopped to breath in the fresh air and feel the beauty in her hand she holds in her heart. She remembers seeing off in the distance the world going by.

    The next time she is back she is no longer herself. She came back to become one with the sand and water, to be part of the shells. She can now fly with the birds and she is part of the perfume that makes the air so fresh. Her heart will always be at this place in the sand.

If you go there today you will see what she saw and feel what she felt but only if you stand there long enough and open your mind and your heart to the beauty.

By Jeanne Holmquist

Why the Dr bothers me?

So one day I wake up trying to convince myself that the simple task I have to do today that millions of women do every year is attainable by me. Well maybe not. Maybe an hour of waiting and worrying is too much for my mind and my body. Maybe I will try again next week. Oh, the people at the office were kind after they realized I had reached the point of no return. The point of which fight or flight the option is over and I must go. I explained. It isn't easy for me to come to the office and waiting is just not something I am good with here. Not that I don't have the patience. I have all the patience in the world but as I wait patiently my brain doesn't stop. Doesn't stop telling the rest of me how they are going to weigh me and I will be disappointed and then they are going to take my blood pressure and they will ask what worries me so much and how nothing bad is going to happen and that it is just a normal test that is taken to prevent something much worse. And is your blood pressure always this high? I understand all of that. That logical, common sense part of my brain gets all of that. But the part of my brain that is unreasonable and illogical is screaming you may not make it through this visit Jeanne. Reminds me of the father in Sanford in Son when he feels a heart attack coming on and yells out, "You hear that Elizabeth? I am coming to join you honey." Fred Sanford never died at these moments. He survived, just like me today.

I will try again next week to face the visit. I will try to be patient and they promise that I will not have to wait that long and will be seen quickly. My sister recommended that I ask to be first so I didn't have time to get worked up or worry. I used to have to do that with all Dr. appt's but I am getting better. I can go to the family Dr. and wait and get weighed and have my blood pressure checked and I survive. I will remind myself on Monday that I can do this. I can wait my turn and survive the poking and prodding and walk out the door still in one piece.


Just had to get this off my chest in hopes that I will not have to worry for the next 2 days. And maybe the shortest blog post I have ever written and published.

Good night.