Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The Epitome of Me

I sometimes think that because I remember everything that I notice things that others may let pass them by. Maybe I read to much into things but sometimes I just have to believe that things happen for a reason and I have no control over them at all.
So last Sunday morning I woke up and felt a pain, discomfort but that old demon inside me said "This is the big one. Elizabeth I am coming to join you." Well not really that dramatic. If you did not get the Sanford and Son reference you have probably missed out a quality 70's program. But it doesn't have to be that big. See I get a little thing going and my mind goes overboard. Am I, aren't I. You don't want to be stupid. But then you look like a fool. Now no one told me that. Everyone was very kind. I even for warned them when I walked in the ER that I have had problems with anxiety and it could be nothing but when your blood pressure is what mine was it is hard to convince anyone that there is not something going on. Well next thing was an EKG. Surprisingly I felt so much better after the EKG I could have gone home. Really. But once they put me in room 32 the same room I was in the first time I went to the ER years ago with my first panic attack. Next to the room number is the word Acute. See again why it is bad to be me. I already know how they are gauging me and haven't even got in the room yet. I guess it is a good thing. They took everything serious. I told the nurse I had taken my medicine and a baby aspirin. I should have waited to panic but it is tough to be logical at this moment. Well she hooked me up to a heart monitor and it beeped every once in a while well that is really unnerving. I guess the beeping is good to a point but again. I knew how I had been before and the Dr had told me that my blood pressure would go down when the nurse was in the room with me. So I focused on the fact that they were not far. And pictured my lake with no ripples. A trick I learned after having panic attacks that if I picture a calming scene I could get back in control. Well when you feel like you are shouting in your head "Picture the Lake", it is much less effective. The beeping continued. The ER Dr said he would like to admit me and so it went. I thought about going home and going to work then he said. The test we did tells us what happened last night. Not what is going on now. So I stayed.

By the time I was in the room 309 I was tired. Very tired. The nurse was great. She got me some ice water. Showed Brian there was a area that they had snacks. Brian made us a peanut butter sandwich and I settled in for whatever was next. Did I mention they gave me an injection of Ativan in the ER. It is hard to panic after that. I slept off and on the afternoon away except for my time as a human pin cushion. See the test they did they do 2 more times. Each time they stuck me they pulled off two other taped over pieces of gauze to see if they missed sticking me anywhere. It is a good thing that stuff doesn't bother me. A Cardiologist came in and explained the blood test and that was about it. He said if all is good you go home in the morning. And he said he had checked out my Heart Cath results from 4 years ago and that my heart is good. He said you would really have to have abused yourself in the last few years to mess it up. So I felt better. Eat a meal, get stuck with a few more needles and be out of here. Well is life ever that simple. I told my sister I am going to relax and read and wait for the bartender and try to find the pool. That may have been the Ativan talking.

So Brian brought my book and we hung out. But he had to take care of the Princess and I am fine. So he went home to rest himself. The lady on the other side of the curtain had been in a few days. Saw her son and daughter-in-law but did not see her. While they were gone during the afternoon she turned on the TV and she was watching the World Cup in Spanish. So I said through the curtain,"So you like Soccer?" She said, "No, can not figure out how to change the channel". So I went over and asked what she like to watch. Funny first thing she said, Pawn Stars and Storage Wars. So I changed the channel but neither were on. I checked the Guide and asked ,"what do you think about Lucy." She said ,"that was good." So I went back to my book and napping. Her family came back and visited she ordered dinner and they went home to take care of her pets. She has two Cockatiels she told me. Her babies. When her food came I walked over and helped her. She was funny. Reminded me of Grandma. She didn't care what was on her plate as long as it came with mashed potatoes and gravy. Extra gravy. So I moved the potatoes to the plate she was eating off of and opened her gravy and talked to her for a few moments. Her boyfriend had died a few years ago and she has been alone since. She was about the size of my Grandma as well but she said her neighbors had been helping her with shopping but I knew this lady should not be at home alone.

I slept early but then about 3 AM my roommate was trying to get up. She was confused and looking for her son. I told her she was in the hospital and got the nurse to help her. She had to change her clothes and sheets so at this point we were all awake. And she kept asking for her son and the nurses explained the time and she was worried. So after they left I reassured her that he would be there in the morning. But again about 5:45 she tried again to get out of bed. I told her to stay where she was and I would get her some help. Called for the aid but no one came. Maybe I did not wait long enough. It is hard to be patient when you know this frail old lady could fall on the floor and hurt herself. So I got out of bed and walked into the hall and found my nurse. Explained and again they got my roommate back in bed and told her the time and that they would call her son in the morning. So as the nurses changed shifts she asked again and they tried to call but the number was written down wrong. He will be here soon enough they kept telling her.  Well I had my breakfast because I wasn't sleeping anymore. Asked for a wash cloth, cleaned up, brushed my teeth and was ready to go. Except for the heart monitor and the gown. I called Brian to bring me some clean clothes.  All I have to do is wait. Right. Because I was OK.

My roommate would not eat until her son came. Which he did finally get there. So I read, they visited. She ate her breakfast. They spoke of the reality that she may not be able to go home alone. This was a conversation that would be had numerous times throughout the day with many different members of the staff. It was sad but true. This lady as sweet as could be would not be safe home alone. This is where I feel bad. I know. I can not take her in. That is crazy but she has her birds and they mean the world to her. But her son reassured her that they could be taken care of until they got her someplace where she could have them.

Well I walked the halls about 5 times as the nurse said I should. She checked my heart monitor. All is good. Just waiting on the Dr. Any time now. Any time at all. I heard a Cardiologist in the hall from the same office as the Dr was from that I saw yesterday. I guess they think their voices don't carry passed the threshold if they are in the hall but it does. He said there were too many patients and he was going to need someone else to come see some of them. Then he was gone. Oh well. Just have to be patient. Now Brian brought my clothes. I changed my shorts and waited. I told the aid I will fix this I will order food for lunch then the Dr will come. Well it worked. The Dr that was seeing me for the Primary came in and said, I will call the Cardiologist and if all is good you can go home. Within a few minutes the Cardiologist came in and he was great. Explained some stuff about my EKG and left out just enough not to cause a panic attack. But he told me again. I am good. My heart is good and I can go home. He noted the situation with my EKG and you will not freak out the Dr's next time. Which is always great when you are not scaring your Dr.

So my food comes. Right on cue. The nurse removed the monitor and said, for me to eat and then she would remove the IV port last. Just in case, she said. So I ate. Brian had walked down to the lobby gift shop and my roommate's machines started beeping. Could have been an IV alarm. Not sure. I saw my nurse in the hall and said, something is beeping over there. The nurse cleared the alarm and went back in the hall. I finished up my food and again that alarm. Saw her nurse and said that beeping started again. So again the nurse came in and cleared the alarm. The nurse talked to her and left the room for a minute. Then came back with another nurse. Now I started worry. They did an EKG on her and I tried to think of anything else. Anything at all. I ate my sandwich as quick as I could and the nurse removed my IV port. By that time I think there were 4 or 5 more nurses and I told the nurse I needed to go before I ended up having to stay.

My roommates son came back and the nurses were explaining what was going on. I walked in the hall and there were more people pouring into the room. The nurse said she had called for a transporter but even she knew I did not need to see any more. She told another nurse she was walking me out. They had called for a Dr. I do not know what happened. I checked the Obits the first couple days. I thought if she did not make it I was glad I was there for her, her last night. If she did make it. I am still glad I was there for her that night. And that is the epitome of me. Me the person who doesn't know if she is having chest pains. Doesn't know why she panics but knows that when there is a person near that needs me I have to take care of them first.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

YMC

If you already know what this blog is about you grew up on Clearwater Beach in the 1970's and 80's, For those of you who were not that fortunate or those that have forgotten this building had many other names. Youth Center, Rec Center, CBRC, Clearwater Beach Recreation Center, Maritime Center. YMC stood for Youth Maritime Center.

What was it? Well if you were between the ages of 8-18 and lived on the beach then it was your home away from home. It was the place your mom called looking for you when you were not home for dinner. In the summer we could head out the door with fifty cents in our pocket and know we were good for the day. A can of Pepsi and a snack from the Toms machine. If the thought of this does not make you smile I know you weren't there.

The Rec was a Tan building with wooden double doors covered in the front a small wall that ran the length of the building. Great for sitting and waiting for a ride. If your ride missed the building or the turn the car would end up in the bay. There is a boat ramp at the end with a small floating dock. The dock was added when we were kids. I remember watching the workers install it and how steep the ramp was at real low tide. Kids would ride their bikes down the ramp and into the bay and then come back up the boat ramp. Or the bigger kids would throw one of the younger kids in the bay and they would come back up the boat ramp. Doesn't that sound like fun. I guess if you were the big kid.

On one side basketball court and a playground on the other. The playground had a 8 foot chain link fence around it. It did run right along the edge of the seawall. Guess they did not want to have any playground accidents that resulted in a drowning. This was not the playground of today. Plastic and safe. There was no grass. Just sand and crushed shells all metal equipment. Hotter than heck in the middle of the summer but cool to the touch in the winter or when it was shaded in the afternoon by the building. Not a tree to be found. Well maybe one but it was by the seawall. Behind the playground was a covered bench that ran the length of the seawall. People would sit out and watch us sail on Sunday, fish or just hang out and enjoy the view. On the back side of the building was the garage doors to the storage for the Prams and the motor boat we used to set the course or save someone turned over. Some parent with a megaphone was always in the motor boat.

My relationship with this building started when I was about 8. My parents took me on a Sunday to learn how to sail a pram.This was the beginning of a love for the water that I have to this day. I looked forward to Sunday to sail every week. I was always upset when I was told it was too rough or windy or going to rain. I would say it is not that bad. I would gauge the weather and the wind as we drove across the causeway. Check the wave heights and check the palm trees to see how hard the wind was blowing. Is it high tide or not. Still to this day when I drive across the bridge I check the wind and water and say man would this be a good day to go sailing. Some days when the wind is really blowing I think of the wind in that sail and the boat keeled over with me hanging over the edge. How far over can I go without letting go of the sail or tipping over. How fast will this baby go today.

My funniest or most ironic sailing lesson. I had never flipped. I had been sailing for a few years and they started a program that they would take the beginners out and in water just deep enough for the boat to flip they would flip the boat so the kids learned how to get it turned over on their own. Well everyone knew that I had never flipped but did not want to participate in this exercise since I had been sailing for years and in theory I knew what needed to be done. Get on top the boat and if the center board is still in pull it in one direction with all your might and the boat would right itself. Well I never did the exercise and when I did finally flip my boat it was in a storm that had blown up and the wind was howling across the bay and there were probably 15 boats flipped over and the adults in the motor boat aided each one at a time. Well I could not get my boat back up. The wind the water I don't know what but I ended up being one of the last saved because I was one of the older and more experienced kids. Only time I ever flipped. Ever.

I sailed until I aged out of the program about 14 I think. I could have moved on to Sunfish but I didn't. My brother sailed to but I don't really remember my younger sisters sailing. Maybe they did but not for long. I think when I stopped everyone did. We did have our own boat. My dad still has it an old red fiberglass hull with wooden keel and rudder. Wooden mast and boom. Nice little boat. I would like to teach the kids to sail in it before they get to be too old. There were lots of kids that sailed some also owned their own boats some were fancy wooden boats with beautiful stain and varnish. They would cover before putting on their trailer and taking them home. Lots of the beach and Island Estates families had kids that sailed. So in 1977 when we moved to the beach we already knew some of the kids and all about the Youth Center.

So after we moved to the beach there was Summer Camp and after school programs. The building was closed on Sunday.  The summer camp program the kids were referred to as Rangers and the young ones were Little People. I think my youngest sister was the only one in Little People. That was a couple days a week for a few hours in the morning. Play games and things and learn to socialize. So the summer we moved in I was 9. We did the summer camp thing and met other beach kids. At the end of the summer every year there would be a big picnic. Another of my sister's picture was in the Beach Views (the beach news paper) eating watermelon with it dripping all down her face and shirt. Those were the days.

Inside there were pool tables, fooze ball tables, ping pong tables an art room and weight room. Like I said before outdoors basketball courts, tennis courts at one time a pool then they filled in the pool then years later put in another pool that is still there. Where the parking lot is now between the rec and the tennis courts at one time was a soccer field. We practiced for our City League team. There were 2 brothers that coached our soccer teams. My brother and I were on one and my 2 younger sisters were on the other. Kevin and Andy were the brothers. They called my sisters wild woman one and two. Now this was when they were about 9 or 10 years old. Little did they know how the name would grow to fit.

Now of course where ever you have this many kids hanging around there are going to be accidents. I will never forget the girl Maggie who had to get stitches in her chin because she fell off the giant play ball that seemed to be four feet around. I was young I could be exaggerating. And of course one of my sisters on New Year's Eve fell out back on some barnacles playing follow the leader and cut her hand. My parents had to take her to the Emergency Room and she had to have stitches but of course the ER doctor did not want to do it because of the dirt and debris from the barnacles so they had to call in a plastic surgeon to do it.

When we were young we could not play pool on the pool tables. Kids had to be at least 12 I think. But we had pool tables at home and that seemed silly but it was a big deal when the employees would let us play. Usually it was at dinner time when there was no one in the rec. But we really liked to play. We also played indoor hockey on a rec team. I even got to play in a regional basket ball shooting contest. I won my age group at the rec. I might have been the only girl that tried in my age group. Still got to go to the next level.

We did just about everything they offered. Archery, Tennis, Soccer, Ping Pong, Bumper Pool. We did it all. In the summer we had field trips and went to the pool down at Pier 60. Yes for those of you that have not been around that long. There used to be a pool. We loved it. High dive and all.

So as you grow up in the rec the next and most natural progression was to work there and I did. I worked for the City a few times. Filled in for maternity leave for a couple different people. It was an easy job when the kids were in school the days were filled with setting up card tables for bridge taking them down for line dancing and setting them back up for bridge. Mostly pretty quiet. I do remember one day that I will never forget. Rule #1 in the weight room always have a spotter. Always. Now I know why. There was this guy came in by himself and I said something as he walked by on his way to the weight room and said make sure you have a spotter. He said no one is here. You come sit with me. Remember I was young girl and this guy wanted me to hang out while he lifted weights. His name so you know was Joe. I will never forget because Joe could bench press about 320 lbs. on a good day. That day however was not his best day or he was showing off a little too much but either way. Joe and I got into a pickle when he lifted and brought down on his chest more than he could push back up. Now of course as I see the indentation in his chest turning red and his face I start to worry, but went right into action and did the only thing I could. Took off a couple small weights from either end of the bar and then I walked behind his head and lifted the bar up off his chest. Now of course this was not something I had ever done before or would ever try again. And to say the least my back and arms were killing me the next day. Crazy.

My favorite thing was summer camp and the kids I was only 18 or 19 and could still do all the stuff the kids did. Get out the mats and do cart wheels across the floor. We did an air band competition I will never forget my youngest sister and her friends did Shout by Tears for Fears. Every time I hear that song I picture them. All those years ago. Another thing I liked about being in charge was my method was not the same as others. Some kids would get in trouble at the rec and they would get kicked out. Let's say my brother was familiar with how that worked. But I took a different approach to the let me say more challenging kids. I kept them in the rec. Tried to keep them busy and yes it would back fire but I was young and resilient and my way had to be better so I stuck with it. I will tell you one time I had some of these kids helping me clean up the art room and get ready for a Senior Citizen class in the morning. Asked the kids to wipe off the tables and get out the coffee supplies and put them near the coffee maker. Walked out and made my rounds and came back oh the kids had wiped off the tables and while they were still wet sprinkled creamer and sugar all over the place and then ran out the art room door like I didn't know who did it. Yes I got them back and they had to clean it up but they got me that time.

 Both times got offered a chance to stay on but was crazy and did not. Now of course once you have one member of your family working for the City you have to get a few more in. Well not at the same time but later on one of my sisters and my brother also worked for the City. I also have a nephew and brother-in-law that work for the City.

I remember when they tore down the old building. I was in my 20's and I was so sad. I drove by and took pictures. I know I have a picture of the Tom's machine with the glass broke out and thought this place will never be the same. How could it?

Well I have only been back a few times to vote. They did add the Beach Branch of the Library to the building another one of our favorite spots to hang out as kids. That story will have to be for another day though.

You now have to pay to use the City Rec centers.So kids like us probably don't go. I know people think that beach kids were rich kids. We were not. All our parents worked at regular jobs and they all lived in regular houses that just happened to be on the beach. I know now most parents would not let their kids walk the half mile we used to to get to the rec center. Or would not leave them unattended for 8 hours at a time. But those were the days.