Sometimes I have the strangest thoughts and search something on the Internet and find the strangest things. One day just wondering what would come up I searched my maiden name on eBay. Just wondered if there was a picture of someone related or what would come up. The weirdest thing. I was expecting something from Ohio where my father is from with the family name or business on it. But instead I found a picture of my youngest sister. She and two other kids at craft contest had one a prize and this picture was run in the news paper. As soon as I saw the picture I knew it was her but kept thinking how weird that is. What are the odds. Well with me it seems to happen often. I think about something and then out of no where I see whatever I just said I never see this anymore.
This same thing happened one night years ago Brian and I were walking on the beach and I had just told him how we used to find the sand collars when we were kids and I had not seen one of them in years. We did not walk another 20 feet and there was one right in front of us. Brian's answer was why don't you think about how long it has been since you found a diamond ring or a pile of cash. This is my luck and fate at play. Rarely is cash going to be involved. Of course we have had times when paying the bills I have wondered how I was going to pay them all and then a check would come for a refund I forgot or an over payment I did not know I had made but for the most part it is just strange things.
So I have been thinking about some ideas to write children's history books. Just short stories about people or places that we have been. I have thought about telling them from different perspectives and I have been working on this idea of instead of telling the story from a child's point of view or an adults to tell the story from a plant or tree's point of view. I have had idea's for a few different places and people but today I thought about a tree in Clearwater that has been there as long as I can remember and I knew there was a plaque in front of the tree so today I stopped next to Perkins on Gulf to Bay near US 19 and wanted to check out the tree and the plaque. So the tree I thought was an Oak is actually a Camphor tree. And even though the tree looks big as you drive by if you have ever noticed. It is even bigger when I was standing in front of it. I would say it was 20 or 30 ft around. The plaque just says that it is a Camphor tree and it is in appreciation for the people who saved it from the National Arbor Society and dated February 1975. Took a few pictures and came home.
Now today I was supposed to do just a few things clean the counter and the dining room table which are catch all. Basically throw out the trash on the table and put everything else away. Do some laundry and the dishes and make dinner. But no. First visited my dad. Then went to the store. Went by and checked out the tree and oh yeah. Came home and got online and decided to do some searching to see what else I could find out about this tree. So Googled Camphor tree in Clearwater and found a few articles about the tree I am speaking of. Very interesting. I now know the tree is about 125 years old and was planted about 1890 with 3 others on the property of William Frank Fields who I read cleared and built his family a home. The four trees were planted to shade the yard for his children to play. Not sure how big the trees were when he planted them but I am sure he would be quite surprised to see how big the lone survivor is. So the strange part. Checked out a few other links but then one caught my eye. Clicked on it and realized it was a link to an eBay page. See how we tie back to the eBay thing at the beginning. Love it when everything ties together. I pull up a picture and it is a newspaper photograph from 1971 of the very same tree. I don't know about you but this is weird. I mean isn't it. I just don't know. So does this mean that I am just strange? Or am I to take it as a sign that I am to write these stories and yes this should be the first one. Or does it mean nothing at all?
This is where sometimes over analysing the situation can leave me to do nothing at all because when my mind never turns off sometimes I will over think a situation until I do not want to think about it anymore and let the book idea go. Or is it that I continue to think about it that it is a good idea and I should continue to do more research. So including my Clearwater tree I have 4 stories in the works. I even have a title in my head but someone else uses it as a name of a business so I guess I would have to look into that as well.
So not sure if today I found a sand collar or a diamond ring but I was not looking for either when it appeared.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Princess
To be clear the title is not about me. I was going to write today about voting. I did. Vote, that is. But after being as productive as anyone, well at least as productive as I wanted to be today. I have an hour and could work on a blog. So I turned on the computer and the satellite radio and sat down with Princess (our dog) at my side. I looked down and I could not believe in the few minutes since we had come in from outside her head was so swollen. First I thought is it just the way she is laying. No. Panic. Her eyes are almost swollen shut. and her nose is swelling and she is starting to get welts on her back. More Panic. I have to get her a couple Benadryl. Brian said the other day when he was off that she got into something and he had to give her Benadryl as well.
I could not open the Benadryl. I had to use sissors to get the foil open and the longer it took the worse I was getting. Princess is not doing so well either. Do I take her to the vet? Give her the Benadryl first. So with a spoon full of cream cheese she swallowed the pills down. Now I can not write. I can not take my eyes off of her. I am crying. My poor girl. So instead of writing I sat on the couch next to her and watched her. Now as I said I had an hour. We are 20 minutes in and I got a damp washcloth and put it on her forehead to try to take down some of the swelling. Is she breathing normal? Am I? I got her a couple ice cubes and she licked at them. She can swallow. We are ok? Aren't we Princess? This is so hard she can not tell me how it itches but she is rubbing her face on my leg. She can not say that she is burning up but I can feel the heat coming off her forehead. I lift up her front legs and check her stomach. No welts there. No redness. Good. How is she breathing. So now I watch. The Benadryl is helping she is laying on the couch. She is not scratching. But I am watching her breath. Every time I see her side rise and fall I feel like I can breathe easier.
This was when I had the thought. I know why we don't have kids. I would worry myself sick. I know all of you have not been around forever but before we had Princess we had Kody. The Best Dog. Princess she is the Best Girl Dog. But Kody was the Best Dog. Kody had seizures for almost his whole 14 years we had him. And when it got to the end it was so hard for me. I had cooked for him the last year because his liver was failing and it was easier on his body and he would eat the home cooked meals. I would make him scrambled eggs and chicken and rice. I even took him to work with me for the last month. I tell you this because with all our animals we have ever had. When the end was near I was the Cat or Dog Hospice. I sat with them and fed them to the end. I was the Make a Wish come true for an animal and any other charity you can think of that does whatever it takes to make a human's life better at the end. Not every cat's last meal is grilled salmon but for my cats it was. I do not eat salmon but I went to the grocery and bought it for them.
After Kody passed away. It took me about 6 months before I even thought I could have a dog again. I missed him but was scared. Could my heart take this pain? To some people I know a cat is just a cat and a dog is just a dog. But these are my kids. Yes. I talk to them. I miss the cats and Kody all the time. Just like a relative. I remember things each would do or certain foods they would eat. We had a Persian cat Tiffany that would eat Fritos and spaghetti not together but she ate them. Kody would always make this lip smacking sound when he was getting ready to go to sleep.
So as I sit here and watch Princess I worry. Worry myself so much. Now the swelling went down and after the hour was up she looked much better or I would not have gone out to eat tonight. But as I left my friend Tracy's the worry came back. Was I wrong to leave Princess. She did look better. I wanted to stop at the grocery but then I thought I have been gone 2 hours what if she wasn't doing better. I should not have left.
Kody's last days I did not leave his side. For 4 days. Night and day. Inside, outside. Did not matter. I was there. Which when they say sleep deprivation is bad. It is very bad. Just ask the people in the emergency room 2 weeks later as I had my first panic attack or the next night when I had my second.
I did stop at the grocery. Grabbed the few things I needed and came home. Princess was not in the window when I pulled in the driveway but she was wagging her tail waiting for me when I walked in the back door. Her face is looking better. Still a little swelling above her eyes. Don't have any idea what it is that she is allergic to but I think we need to give her Benadryl regularly for a while. I would not want to have to leave and go to work with her looking like she did this afternoon.
I know she is a dog but she is my Princess. And I remember so much that it hurts to think that one day she will not be here. I know she is only 8 years old but I know nothing is forever and I will miss her one day like I miss Kody, Mary, Tiffany, Lillian, Blake, Gauge and Boo.
The anxiety of the end is real for me all the time. All the time that I think what if. It is not just a little what if. It is always the big what if. And to even say the words or type them could make them more real. The anxiety of loosing Kody took years to recover from. And still today I remember all of the panic, anxiety and sadness.
So much sadness. Now I can smile and remember. I used to just remember and cry. I am going to take a deep breath and hug my girl and go to bed and try to remember that both me and Princess are ok.
It took a lot of different things books, medicine and talking and quiet time to get better. I had to be brave to say I could have another dog and I will have to be brave again some day. Some day hopefully in the far off future I will once again be sad but will again have the memories of today to smile and remind me how much I cared for my Princess while she was here. And know that I treated her as with as much love as she gave to me.
Love you Pretty Girl.
I could not open the Benadryl. I had to use sissors to get the foil open and the longer it took the worse I was getting. Princess is not doing so well either. Do I take her to the vet? Give her the Benadryl first. So with a spoon full of cream cheese she swallowed the pills down. Now I can not write. I can not take my eyes off of her. I am crying. My poor girl. So instead of writing I sat on the couch next to her and watched her. Now as I said I had an hour. We are 20 minutes in and I got a damp washcloth and put it on her forehead to try to take down some of the swelling. Is she breathing normal? Am I? I got her a couple ice cubes and she licked at them. She can swallow. We are ok? Aren't we Princess? This is so hard she can not tell me how it itches but she is rubbing her face on my leg. She can not say that she is burning up but I can feel the heat coming off her forehead. I lift up her front legs and check her stomach. No welts there. No redness. Good. How is she breathing. So now I watch. The Benadryl is helping she is laying on the couch. She is not scratching. But I am watching her breath. Every time I see her side rise and fall I feel like I can breathe easier.
This was when I had the thought. I know why we don't have kids. I would worry myself sick. I know all of you have not been around forever but before we had Princess we had Kody. The Best Dog. Princess she is the Best Girl Dog. But Kody was the Best Dog. Kody had seizures for almost his whole 14 years we had him. And when it got to the end it was so hard for me. I had cooked for him the last year because his liver was failing and it was easier on his body and he would eat the home cooked meals. I would make him scrambled eggs and chicken and rice. I even took him to work with me for the last month. I tell you this because with all our animals we have ever had. When the end was near I was the Cat or Dog Hospice. I sat with them and fed them to the end. I was the Make a Wish come true for an animal and any other charity you can think of that does whatever it takes to make a human's life better at the end. Not every cat's last meal is grilled salmon but for my cats it was. I do not eat salmon but I went to the grocery and bought it for them.
After Kody passed away. It took me about 6 months before I even thought I could have a dog again. I missed him but was scared. Could my heart take this pain? To some people I know a cat is just a cat and a dog is just a dog. But these are my kids. Yes. I talk to them. I miss the cats and Kody all the time. Just like a relative. I remember things each would do or certain foods they would eat. We had a Persian cat Tiffany that would eat Fritos and spaghetti not together but she ate them. Kody would always make this lip smacking sound when he was getting ready to go to sleep.
So as I sit here and watch Princess I worry. Worry myself so much. Now the swelling went down and after the hour was up she looked much better or I would not have gone out to eat tonight. But as I left my friend Tracy's the worry came back. Was I wrong to leave Princess. She did look better. I wanted to stop at the grocery but then I thought I have been gone 2 hours what if she wasn't doing better. I should not have left.
Kody's last days I did not leave his side. For 4 days. Night and day. Inside, outside. Did not matter. I was there. Which when they say sleep deprivation is bad. It is very bad. Just ask the people in the emergency room 2 weeks later as I had my first panic attack or the next night when I had my second.
I did stop at the grocery. Grabbed the few things I needed and came home. Princess was not in the window when I pulled in the driveway but she was wagging her tail waiting for me when I walked in the back door. Her face is looking better. Still a little swelling above her eyes. Don't have any idea what it is that she is allergic to but I think we need to give her Benadryl regularly for a while. I would not want to have to leave and go to work with her looking like she did this afternoon.
I know she is a dog but she is my Princess. And I remember so much that it hurts to think that one day she will not be here. I know she is only 8 years old but I know nothing is forever and I will miss her one day like I miss Kody, Mary, Tiffany, Lillian, Blake, Gauge and Boo.
The anxiety of the end is real for me all the time. All the time that I think what if. It is not just a little what if. It is always the big what if. And to even say the words or type them could make them more real. The anxiety of loosing Kody took years to recover from. And still today I remember all of the panic, anxiety and sadness.
So much sadness. Now I can smile and remember. I used to just remember and cry. I am going to take a deep breath and hug my girl and go to bed and try to remember that both me and Princess are ok.
It took a lot of different things books, medicine and talking and quiet time to get better. I had to be brave to say I could have another dog and I will have to be brave again some day. Some day hopefully in the far off future I will once again be sad but will again have the memories of today to smile and remind me how much I cared for my Princess while she was here. And know that I treated her as with as much love as she gave to me.
Love you Pretty Girl.
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