My younger self

I was just looking for an idea for a writing prompt and it said to write a letter to your 14 year old self.

What would I say to that girl? Often if asked if I could do it again would I? I have always thought no. When I think of all the years that go by for some reason the hard things always come to mind first. I don't first think of my successes. So why would I want to relive my failures. Would I succeed where I failed the first time. Or would I fail where I first succeeded. Would I know the difference.

I wouldn't want to take a chance that I somehow wouldn't have met Brian. I don't know which things I would risk not doing that made me the person I am and which things I would do different that would change my entire life.

But if I was to give a 14 year old today advice about life.
Be true to yourself. 
Be honest with everyone. The truth is so much easier to remember. And the first rule I have always referred to is Never go back. 
Don't write anything down you don't want everyone to read. 
Don't say anything you wouldn't say in front of your mother.

Dear young girl,
Maybe you are related to me, if so I know you have opinions on everything. My mother was the queen of having an opinion. As her youngest grandson Paul would call her Bull Headed. A funny thing for her to be called since when she was young her family referred to her as Sitting Bull.

Mom did what she wanted and if that meant standing out behind her work smoking a cigarette with the men she shouldn't have been associating with in that day and age. Well, she did it. That same woman taught us that your station in life isn't important if you are a good person. Rich or poor it just doesn't matter. Mom grew up in a time and place where you didn't associate with people that were different than you. Yet somehow she taught us there are good and bad people everywhere.

A great piece of advice for you is that middle school and high school seem like forever but as you get older you will realize that those years are just a blip on the screen and there is so much more after that.  When people are mean it is usually because they truly don't like them self. They hurt others to make them self feel powerful. But those are the weakest people. They throw their weight around to see what they can get away with. Be nice and walk away. Always remember: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It is advice as old as the written word but there are no truer words. There is actually satisfaction to be had by being nice to someone that can't say a nice thing to you. As one of my favorite store managers told me just tell them to have a nice day. What can they say back to that. Well, I had a lady throw a box of medicine at me once because I told her to have a nice day. Still makes me smile today.

You will not be able to do everything right and you will treat people poorly. You will make mistakes. Recognize them as just that and improve yourself. You will befriend people you shouldn't and when you realize it cut your losses and walk away.

I have told the story many times that a boyfriend that I had been with for years. I thought we would get married after high school. Thought we would have kids and live happily ever after. It didn't work out that way and once I caught myself lying to him. I knew that I had to walk away. The friend I went to when it was over, funny thing is that was where he was going also. He had been seeing her behind my back. I sometimes think I wasted the years crying over this guy that I was just trying to please and there was no way I could. He didn't ever worry about making me happy. That is something to look for. If someone says they love you and they won't stick their neck out for you or defend your honor. You might want to think about not defending their's anymore.

A rebound is a rebound. Don't try to make it more. If a bad thing gets you out of a worse situation take it for what it is and keep it moving. It may seem counter productive but sometimes even a bad move is better than staying where you are.

 Realize that your time is precious don't waste it. In the same vain sometimes you have to be quiet and by yourself. Be happy with that person you are with. Know that she has a pure heart and means well. If she doesn't help her to do better. Yes, be nice to yourself. You are worth the effort.

True friends are the family you choose. Choose wisely and they will last forever. When they ask your opinion tell the truth but all the same expect the truth when you ask that of them. That is how you will know your friendship is pure. Those are the relationships that can last a lifetime. I can tell you I have been blessed with friends. Friends that tell me the truth and lift me up when I am down. And in the same turn I will lift anyone up that I can.

One truth in life is everything changes. Love where you are but know it isn't forever. Years of school become years of work. And one job sometimes leads to another and other times it leads to unemployment. Whatever happens keep moving forward.

I hope after reading this that you know you are capable of whatever you want to do. You can love others but have to love yourself first. That doesn't mean to hurt others for your own gain. The people you meet on your way up the ladder of life, they will be there on your way back down. Weather they help you or hurt you may depend on how you treated them.

Whoever you are know you are loved. That those that came before you, tried to make the world better for you. When I say hello to a stranger it was in hopes that someday someone will say hello to you when you need it. Smile and let them know how much it means to you. It may be what they needed to hear.

Love,
Aunt Jeanne