Peace be with you.

Funny these words I have heard my entire life. At church I would hear them said at the beginning, The Grace and Peace of the Lord be with you all. A simple message to say, I wish you all Grace and Peace unlike you could ever imagine in this world. 

I have mentioned before that I do not speak of Lilly, I did not know her but on her birthday this year I posted a picture of her with the simple phrase, Peace Lilly. There is no more to say.

Pastor Vicki spoke today of Peace. This same Peace that I wish for Lilly I truely wish for myself and others. I have read so much lately of the events of last year. Probably too much. So many are still saddened by these events and the loss of their friends and family members. A few do not seem to have found their Peace yet. Unfortunately Vicki said, she doesn't have a cape or flashlight to offer as protection against the things that scare us. But to me she does. She offers her smile in the face of her own Grief. She offers a hug when she knows you need it. That is Peace.

I started off going to write about the church I grew up in and the one I attend today. But now. I think of a person that feels blame for the events of last year. This is another person I do not know. A person I may have laid some of the blame on myself. But today I wish him Peace. He has family and friends around but I don't think he see's them for the comfort that they are. He only see's what he is missing. Peace be with you.

Funny how things work out. I wanted to say that my favorite part of church as a child was the offering of Peace. Right before Communion. The home stretch. The time you got to talk to your neighbor without being shushed. A time that a total stranger would say Peace be with you. Last year as my nieces and nephew prepared for their First Communion I would just say Peace. No matter how I felt it is always said with a smile. Well. This week has been a year since that First Communion. I celebrated Communion this morning in a church I had maybe been to twice before last year at this time but in the last nine months we have become regulars. A lady said Hello this morning and said how glad she was to see us an how she misses us when she doesn't see us sitting in the front. Who knew?

Honestly we do not go to be seen. We go to feel Peace. Somedays it seems to come easier than others.

I have offered prayers for Peace of the people of New York after Hurricane Sandy, those of Connecticut after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School and to those of Boston after the bombing. In all those offerings it is not just the peace that President's seek for their country but for true Peace in their hearts. So as mass ended one last reminder to go in Peace and Love and Serve the Lord.
Amen.

Today as every Sunday Vicki ends with a charge which reminds us to do the same:

Go out in the world in peace; have courage; hold on to what is good; return no one evil for evil; strengthen the fainthearted, support the weak and help the suffering; honor and respect everyone; love and serve the Lord, rejoicing in the power of the Holy Spirit.  And all God’s people said: Amen

A simple message of Peace. Words we may all say as we walk out the door each morning.

Peace. Amen.

A Year Later

So the feelings are out. Some are more easily defined now looking back then at the time. GRIEF is a funny thing. Shock trys to protect your brain from absorbing everything at once yet as it sinks in you can see all the layers and feelings that are there.

Even though rehashing this is not going to bring anyone back. I hope it will help someone see the signs so the first thing I am going to talk about is DENIAL. Lisa called me once and talked about breaking up with him. Once. That was my opportunity. She wanted me to come to Arizona so she could get him to move out. I told her she could do it. She never said why she couldn't. I should have pressed more. Could have asked more questions. But I didn't.

Which brings you to the GUILT. I don't live there never met him didn't even know his name but I feel guilt. Lisa said she wanted to break up with him. Get him to leave. Why didn't I go. I was unemployed. I thought she is a grown woman why can't she handle this by herself. Now I know.

If it is not the guilt it is BLAME, Why didn't someone there help more. Why didn't they see the signs. WHY. Since I don't want to break my own rule about mentioning others in less than a perfect light. I will not mention anymore about blame. But I feel it. And I feel guilty for blaming someone else for something like this.

On a positive note I can now say THANKS. THANKS to the counselors at the Gilbert Police Department that spoke to us. The Chaplain that brought us food. The Air Force Chaplains that came to the funeral in support of their brother in arms who did the impossible and Celebrated the life of his sister, niece and great niece.  The first responders who's lives were also changed by this horrible event.
And the Hospice and other Counselors, Pastors and friends that have helped after we all returned home. I hope you all know how import it is that you were there that day and the days have followed. At the funeral the undercover police officers and those in uniform that kept us safe.

Brian and his family we are all closer. I love that we got to spend time with Brittany this past summer and have been able to spend days with her since. I love that we got to have her and her cousins with us for a few weeks last summer.

Brian is right. If we help just one girl get the courage to get up and leave a bad situation without getting hurt anymore. Or if this saves a child from being beaten we have done a great service to the world and that family and should be worth the cost we have already paid.

So again if you know anyone in a situation that you are not sure about. Ask the questions. Offer assistance but do not put yourself in danger. Be Safe.