Tonight, I wanted to write about Friendship.. I am not a person with a million followers on Facebook or Snapchat (which I don't even have). I have what I would call true friends. Those are friends that you know, in person. Friends that you share life with not just share pictures of your live with. These are the friends that you call and will always answer. The ones that you can reach out to and they will be there to catch you, hold you or listen to you.
Romanticizing friendship on Social Media people say how important their friends are but how often do you hold your hand out and know there is going to be someone reaching back. It doesn't matter if life is good or not. If I am happy or sad. There are friends in my life that I know that if I pick up the phone they are there. And even if God only knows I would never not be there for them.
A week or so ago, I was telling someone at work about one of my friends and said how we had been friends for more than 30 years. I actually have more of those than work friends. Somehow my work friends usually become the 30 year kind. I am sure she can't fathom having friends that long since she probably isn't 30 years old. I feel like just like furniture and everything else in a 20 something's life friends are also disposable. There is nothing further from the truth. To have a friend you knew in middle school at my age each time we get together we can talk about the same good times and have the same memories and same feelings good or bad, happy or sad. Feelings of appreciation for the times we have shared even if they are years apart.
Changes happen and sometimes I don't see an old friend for a long time but then meet up with one of those 30 year friends that I haven't seen in that amount of time but it doesn't matter. There is something about a true friend no matter when the last time you talked or why it has been so long. When we get together all that matters is that we are there. I had another that I met up a few years back and we shared so many of the same things in life you don't realize all the ups and downs until you are reviewing that many years in one sitting.
You ask what is the purpose of all this friend talk. It is to say Thanks. Thanks for always being there. For always having my back. And if you are reading this and I have know you forever I consider you one of those people that if you reach out I will be there and please never forget. I am here for you. Even if you aren't 30 years old. There are a few of you out there that just aren't as old as me but I have probably known you most of your life. I am there for you as well. Love you.
Showing posts with label Forever. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Forever. Show all posts
Saturday, September 21, 2019
Thursday, February 12, 2015
I Tolerate you till death do us part
With Valentine's Day coming up I thought I would write about Love and Marriage and Tolerance. These all go together well at least in my mind. It goes way back to a day that I was irritated with Brian and he kept saying I love you. And at that moment I was mad. I said, "I tolerate you." Then he was madder. Well I went on to explain the meaning of tolerate. Merriam-Webster says, to allow (something that is bad or unpleasant) to happen, exist or be done. or to accept the feelings or beliefs or another. Which is similar to what I told Brian that day. I said, "you know before me you had other girlfriends and I assume that they all said they love you right?" He agreed but still not happy. I said then why are they not still here? Because they didn't tolerate you. See you can love something or someone and it will get you by for a while but if you do not tolerate all they are inside and out then you will not last forever. And I tolerate you. Forever.
Well that was not the end of that day but it was forever ingrained in both of us that we have to be able to put up with the things that irritate the crap out of us that the other does. It is the same for any relationship. Brothers, and sisters, moms and dads and even friends. Everyone has a childhood friend that something happened somewhere along the way and you could no longer tolerate their behavior or they yours and poof. No more friendship. Same with families that no longer speak. So my determination is that if you want a relationship to last yes love is nice but the key is tolerate the other person till death do us part. I know that no one is going to change their vows to include tolerate but I think it is the most important one.
Had a dear friend from middle school until we were into are 20's she was bitchy and bossy and always wanted to be in charge and that was ok. She slept with my boyfriend of 7 years. Couldn't tolerate that end of friendship. End of boyfriend too. Couldn't tolerate his behavior any longer either.
This is the sort of action that some would tolerate. Some would say I can get past it but I believe that is the seed that starts the process of no longer loving the person. In my case seed planted and grew to maturity in about 3.2 seconds that day for them both.
On a side note for tolerance. I think the world could use a lot more of it. Sometimes that thing that irritates you about someone else is something inside of you that you do not like either. So if everyone would try to be more tolerant of the people around them the world could be a much better place.
And for those of you considering marriage keep in mind that thing that they do that bothers you. You know everyone does something that you were like wow. Now if I didn't love you that could be a deal breaker. Well consider how much that thing irritates you that they do and consider that they may do that thing everyday for the rest of your life. And if you can tolerate it than you should be good to go.
So this Valentine's day when you are expressing your love with a sappy card and some candy or flowers remember that the thing that keeps you together is not that you love each other. It is that you tolerate each other. Forever.
Well that was not the end of that day but it was forever ingrained in both of us that we have to be able to put up with the things that irritate the crap out of us that the other does. It is the same for any relationship. Brothers, and sisters, moms and dads and even friends. Everyone has a childhood friend that something happened somewhere along the way and you could no longer tolerate their behavior or they yours and poof. No more friendship. Same with families that no longer speak. So my determination is that if you want a relationship to last yes love is nice but the key is tolerate the other person till death do us part. I know that no one is going to change their vows to include tolerate but I think it is the most important one.
Had a dear friend from middle school until we were into are 20's she was bitchy and bossy and always wanted to be in charge and that was ok. She slept with my boyfriend of 7 years. Couldn't tolerate that end of friendship. End of boyfriend too. Couldn't tolerate his behavior any longer either.
This is the sort of action that some would tolerate. Some would say I can get past it but I believe that is the seed that starts the process of no longer loving the person. In my case seed planted and grew to maturity in about 3.2 seconds that day for them both.
On a side note for tolerance. I think the world could use a lot more of it. Sometimes that thing that irritates you about someone else is something inside of you that you do not like either. So if everyone would try to be more tolerant of the people around them the world could be a much better place.
And for those of you considering marriage keep in mind that thing that they do that bothers you. You know everyone does something that you were like wow. Now if I didn't love you that could be a deal breaker. Well consider how much that thing irritates you that they do and consider that they may do that thing everyday for the rest of your life. And if you can tolerate it than you should be good to go.
So this Valentine's day when you are expressing your love with a sappy card and some candy or flowers remember that the thing that keeps you together is not that you love each other. It is that you tolerate each other. Forever.
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