Life is Short

 Life is short they say. I am now at the age where I am realizing just how short. I have daily reminders and that makes me feel sad, and sometimes the sadness lingers from one sad thing to the next. Another reminder the loss of another friend. 

I know everyone my age loses people and some they have known for years and are close to and sometimes they seem to come just a bit too close together. My most recent loss was that of a boss. A lady that some might have said was hard to work for but I would say she was tough but fair. When you work for someone like that the expectations aren't high just for the sake of it. Her expectations were high for her own work and she only expected you to set the bar high for yourself. If not she would show you where you fell short. Not in a way that made me feel bad, but in a way that I believed I could be better. She was a get to the office early and stay til everyone was gone. Her desk always had a pile of work on it. If not hers someone else's work she was checking. 

This person I considered a friend she came to our wedding. But in the years that have passed since we left Eckerd we have only exchanged Christmas cards and run into each other at a restaurant or art show. Always saying we will get together soon. I do regret us not getting together more but like most people who were good influences on me I thought of her often and what she would do. 

I don't ever recall her yelling or raising her voice. It was not necessary. Just an explanation of how your work could be better or more accurate. 

The loss of a mentor or sensei (a person that comes before another) is one I seem to struggle more with. A person I have learned so much from, she probably wouldn't want me to go on about her.  I know I am not alone in my respect for her and her guidance. Even though it has been years since I shared things with her early in the morning before work. Crying over something I had no control over, she would not placate me or promise things would be better but that I would get through the struggle and at times share her own similar struggle with me. 

I learned from her how to be the best me that I could be. Today I share my struggles with younger people so they know it will not be easy but they to can get through it (whatever it may be). Sometimes knowing someone got to the other side of a struggle makes me believe I can get there myself.

My yearly trips with my nieces and nephews is a direct reflection of how she taught by doing. Spending time with those younger than her that meant so much to her. 

So here is to the one that came before me. One of the ones who would have done anything for me. 

She will be missed.

Always in my heart!

Thanks for being a friend

I wrote back in 2013 about being friends in this day and age and the likes of Facebook (just a little play on words). And over the last few years people I haven't seen in years have requested me to be friends with them again. So many are people that I went to elementary school with and some even still live in the area and it is nice to see what they are up to and what is going on in their lives. Nice to see they are doing well and just like any friend to support them when they are going through a rough patch. But there is nothing quite like getting together and having a meal and talking.

Over the last few weeks I have been out with or talked on the phone with 3 different friends that I have know for about 30 years each. I have always said that one thing that I learned as a kid was to be loyal. And I can say that the friends I have are amazing. I have written about all the funny stories from back in my store days at Eckerd and the trouble I should have gotten into but the funny thing is that if I pick up the phone and call any one or all of the people from back in the day or if they called me I would do anything for any of them. Friendship is like marriage you can always fall back and one of them will be there to pick you up.

So a couple weeks ago I had lunch with my friend Sandy,  We were in band together. She said the other day how I always said the funniest things at the right time. I always remember us that we could just look at the other and start laughing just like with our friend Jane from back in the day. I don't know if every kid enjoys band like we did but God those were the days. Well, I hadn't seen Sandy since soon after high school. Not sure why we lost touch with each other but it happens. Funny thing when we met up it was as if it had only been a few months except for the fact that we had to catch up on all those 30 years. What happened after high school and that I had been with Brian for more than 20 years and that I worked for Eckerd's for that long as well but have another job now that I have been at for 5 years. She had been in the Air Force when I last saw her but she went to college afterwards. She has moved all over the country and me well I have been right here keeping the home fires burning. We talked about all the love and loss and we shared a lot. The waitress at the restaurant thought we would not stop talking long enough to order and then probably thought we would never leave after we were done eating. We talked about the people we kept up with and the ones that we miss. It was a great afternoon. Can't wait to see her again.

Then just this Friday I had breakfast with Tracy and we had the best time together. I just don't think I could ever express how appreciative I am to her for her friendship. It takes us just as long to catch up on a few weeks but it is our thing we do. Have breakfast and talk and laugh and sometimes cry. I thank God for her every day.

Yesterday after having the house tented for Termites and finally getting back in after being out for 3 days I got a call from Scotty. I always laugh at us, two unassuming friends we started off together in the store and moved on to corporate together and we ate lunch together everyday for more than 10 years and now when we get on the phone we have to catch up on all the things we would have discussed over lunch. Which movies has he seen and which Brian will watch and ones he isn't going to sit through. He tells of the plays or other cool New York stuff he has done. We talk about work and everything else in life and remind each other how great it is when we get to talk.

May not seem like anything exciting for most. Certainly not worth getting up at 5AM to write about but these are just a few of my friends that I try to keep in touch with. These are the people that keep my head above the water in the ocean of life and encourage me to keep swimming. That I can get through whatever it is I am going through and I am there for them to reassure them that they are much stronger than they believe as well. No one is in  this ocean alone, There is always someone to reach out to and grab hold of when you need a lift. I know people try to do the same on the internet and there are people that will reach out but no imoge can do what a hug or visiting with an old friend over a meal can do. Maybe we should all plan to get together more and put down all these smart devices and hang out with some really smart friends.  I am just glad that over the years I have always remembered my love for these and many more friends. And getting together with them for an hour every few months is way better than anything else in the world.

So to all of you who read this far. As the Golden Girls theme says, "Thank you for being a friend."

30 Years Later

So I am not sure where time goes.  One day I was young and would never grow up and the next day I have gray hair and need glasses to read. Where did all the days in between go.There were weddings and funerals. Babies were born and birthday parties.We bought a house and moved. But that was just a few of all these days that have past by. I just calculated 10,950 days give or take since high school. All but a year of all those days I have worked. So a little college a lot of working and a lot of being married. It is all good. So as I look back and wish for the things I missed but I am happy for the things I have. But honestly how could it be 30 years.

I find it funny in the last few weeks people I haven't seen or heard from in years have requested to be my friend on Facebook. I guess with the reunion coming up they see my name and think man I wonder what she has been up to. The funny thing is some of us still live right here in Clearwater. One just yesterday. Katie. Katie and I went to school with her from Skycrest Elementary School, Kennedy Middle School and Clearwater High School. We went to the same church. I have seen her at that same church since. I remember her son was an alter boy and very faithful young man and how she was very proud of him as I am sure she is of all her kids. Not sure how many she has. We grew up in that church had our first communion and our confirmation together. But somehow lost touch. I have been an off again on again church goer for a long time. But not to single her out there is Brian from elementary school as well and Carrie. There are so many from band in high school. Nancy and Linda and Peggy and Mike and Tom and Kim... I know there are some that are no longer with us. I just really don't know where all the days went.

I attended our 10 year reunion and felt out of place. Some people recognized me but said my name wrong. So you are reading my name tag but my face it is familiar. I did not go to the 20 or 25 what ever they had. I thought why go. I am not one to have something to gloat about. I am not a Dr. I have not discovered a cure for cancer or have I walked on the moon. Just a lot of back and forth to and from work. Putting in the hours and the days that are my life. Now it has only been in the last few days that I thought well what the heck. Why not go. This is not one of those reunions like the 10 year that was very expensive. And just maybe this will be fun.

I must say I am nervous. Maybe I will not be recognized and maybe no one will know my name. I don't know am I as unremarkable as I make myself out to be? But I think Friday night Brian and I will go out and have a nice time and visit with some people I have not seen in years and hope that maybe some old friends will become new friends again. Saturday night well that all depends on how Friday night goes. I will let you know how things work out but for those of you that are not as old as me and are wondering when you will be old enough don't blink or you will miss it.

Happy 30th Reunion to the Clearwater High Class of 1985