Life is Short

 Life is short they say. I am now at the age where I am realizing just how short. I have daily reminders and that makes me feel sad, and sometimes the sadness lingers from one sad thing to the next. Another reminder the loss of another friend. 

I know everyone my age loses people and some they have known for years and are close to and sometimes they seem to come just a bit too close together. My most recent loss was that of a boss. A lady that some might have said was hard to work for but I would say she was tough but fair. When you work for someone like that the expectations aren't high just for the sake of it. Her expectations were high for her own work and she only expected you to set the bar high for yourself. If not she would show you where you fell short. Not in a way that made me feel bad, but in a way that I believed I could be better. She was a get to the office early and stay til everyone was gone. Her desk always had a pile of work on it. If not hers someone else's work she was checking. 

This person I considered a friend she came to our wedding. But in the years that have passed since we left Eckerd we have only exchanged Christmas cards and run into each other at a restaurant or art show. Always saying we will get together soon. I do regret us not getting together more but like most people who were good influences on me I thought of her often and what she would do. 

I don't ever recall her yelling or raising her voice. It was not necessary. Just an explanation of how your work could be better or more accurate. 

The loss of a mentor or sensei (a person that comes before another) is one I seem to struggle more with. A person I have learned so much from, she probably wouldn't want me to go on about her.  I know I am not alone in my respect for her and her guidance. Even though it has been years since I shared things with her early in the morning before work. Crying over something I had no control over, she would not placate me or promise things would be better but that I would get through the struggle and at times share her own similar struggle with me. 

I learned from her how to be the best me that I could be. Today I share my struggles with younger people so they know it will not be easy but they to can get through it (whatever it may be). Sometimes knowing someone got to the other side of a struggle makes me believe I can get there myself.

My yearly trips with my nieces and nephews is a direct reflection of how she taught by doing. Spending time with those younger than her that meant so much to her. 

So here is to the one that came before me. One of the ones who would have done anything for me. 

She will be missed.

Always in my heart!

Happy 20th Anniversary

Today is Brian and my 20th Anniversary being married and 25 years we have lived together. In the summer of 1993 I was 26 years old and he was 22. God we were so young. For those of you that don't know the story it is kinda cute. One of my best friends was the store manager of the Eckerd store on the beach and I stopped in to visit and to show her my new kittens I had just taken by the vet to have checked out and she introduced me to this new guy in the break room. As soon as he said his name I said, "you have a brother don't you?" Brian couldn't believe I knew his brother from band in middle school Then I remember I said something wise and he had a smart remark back and I said, finally you hired someone that can give me a run for my money. Who knew that 25 years later I would be sitting here reminiscing? A few weeks later was his birthday and we went out and played darts at Eddie;s in Dunedin. Cooter's on the beach opened and we went there for a date. The first movie we ever saw together was "The Nightmare before Christmas", Every year at Halloween when the movie is on TV we joke about that.  Later I saw a picture of him not too long before we met and I couldn't believe he had one of those rat tail things young guys had back then. I teased that I never would have looked at him twice if he had that thing and he said that my friend told him to loose it before he started to work and just the day before I met him he had cut it off.I call it Fate.

Now life has a funny way of working out. Here is a guy that we joke with each other that we each were the one that knew first that we would be together forever. We used to love to play darts together and one of my favorite dart stories was one night we were out at a Sports bar and we were waiting to play a game of darts and there were two guys playing and they were teasing each other and one guy said to the other that he played like a girl. Brian in is quick wit said,"you want to be beat by a girl?" We played doubles against those two guys and we beat them. Makes me smile even tonight thinking of the fun we have when we are together.

Another funny story was when I cooked for Brian the first time. One night when he got off work I made dinner. Just a pork chop, stuffing and gravy. I always joke all it took was one pork chop and I had him. But not to sell Brian short he cooked for me also. The first meal he cooked for me was homemade beef and pasta. like Beefaroni but better. Because he made it. I took a picture of him that night and it has sat on my dresser ever since. A few years back he was cooking for me again and again I took the same shot of him all these years later. Love any dinner made for me.

In the fall of 1993 Brian's roommate moved out and he was in need of a place to live and I had a spare room in the house. So with the help of some friends he moved in. Brian used to call David my current roommate back then, the good roommate. David was handy and paid his rent and well that is the best kind of roommate to have. But not long after Brian moved in David moved out. It was the whole 3rd wheel thing even though I think neither of us were willing to admit that might be the case.

The more we got to know each other the more he was around my family and he didn't have any family that lived close and one of the first things I insisted on us doing was planning a trip to visit his parents. Family has always been important and I wanted it to be important for him as well. We went the next January and had a great visit with his parents and grand parents and his brother and his wife and their little boy that was turning a year old. We took a picture of the men of his family 4 generations and last year when that same nephew graduated from the Air Force Flight School we did the same picture again just short one generation. But still great to get together with family his or mine.

I could walk down memory lane for 25 years worth good times and bad. There is something there that I don't completely understand because no matter what happens the worst day with him is better than the best day without him. No matter what we have been through and we have been through stuff but when I look next to me there he is and I wouldn't dream of it being any other way.

In our 25 years together we probably haven't spent 30 nights apart. Those are the nights I know how much I appreciate him. How important he is. Unfortunately in 25 years we have had a lot of nights sitting across from each other mindlessly watching TV. Maybe that is what happens as two people become so comfortable together that they are just  content to be together.

Now today Brian and I had a visit from his best friend and Best Man who always remembers my marriage advice.  As I told Brian early on that Love isn't the key. The main thing you need is to be able to tolerate each other. Because lots of girls had told him that they loved him but they aren't still here and why you ask because they didn't tolerate him. That thing that someone does that you are with that you want to spend the rest of your life with. That thing that if they do it one more time you will scream. Know that that thing could happen every day for the rest of your life. If you can tolerate that then that is what Love is.

So as I have said before. I tolerate you Brian til death do us part. And I hope we have at least 25 more years of holding hands and smiling at things that only we smile at and annoying each other in ways that only we can because only we have been together long enough to know the thing you know "That thing".

I just wanted to take this time to tell you that I will always choose you.

Love you Babe.

Happy Anniversary.

Thanks for being a friend

I wrote back in 2013 about being friends in this day and age and the likes of Facebook (just a little play on words). And over the last few years people I haven't seen in years have requested me to be friends with them again. So many are people that I went to elementary school with and some even still live in the area and it is nice to see what they are up to and what is going on in their lives. Nice to see they are doing well and just like any friend to support them when they are going through a rough patch. But there is nothing quite like getting together and having a meal and talking.

Over the last few weeks I have been out with or talked on the phone with 3 different friends that I have know for about 30 years each. I have always said that one thing that I learned as a kid was to be loyal. And I can say that the friends I have are amazing. I have written about all the funny stories from back in my store days at Eckerd and the trouble I should have gotten into but the funny thing is that if I pick up the phone and call any one or all of the people from back in the day or if they called me I would do anything for any of them. Friendship is like marriage you can always fall back and one of them will be there to pick you up.

So a couple weeks ago I had lunch with my friend Sandy,  We were in band together. She said the other day how I always said the funniest things at the right time. I always remember us that we could just look at the other and start laughing just like with our friend Jane from back in the day. I don't know if every kid enjoys band like we did but God those were the days. Well, I hadn't seen Sandy since soon after high school. Not sure why we lost touch with each other but it happens. Funny thing when we met up it was as if it had only been a few months except for the fact that we had to catch up on all those 30 years. What happened after high school and that I had been with Brian for more than 20 years and that I worked for Eckerd's for that long as well but have another job now that I have been at for 5 years. She had been in the Air Force when I last saw her but she went to college afterwards. She has moved all over the country and me well I have been right here keeping the home fires burning. We talked about all the love and loss and we shared a lot. The waitress at the restaurant thought we would not stop talking long enough to order and then probably thought we would never leave after we were done eating. We talked about the people we kept up with and the ones that we miss. It was a great afternoon. Can't wait to see her again.

Then just this Friday I had breakfast with Tracy and we had the best time together. I just don't think I could ever express how appreciative I am to her for her friendship. It takes us just as long to catch up on a few weeks but it is our thing we do. Have breakfast and talk and laugh and sometimes cry. I thank God for her every day.

Yesterday after having the house tented for Termites and finally getting back in after being out for 3 days I got a call from Scotty. I always laugh at us, two unassuming friends we started off together in the store and moved on to corporate together and we ate lunch together everyday for more than 10 years and now when we get on the phone we have to catch up on all the things we would have discussed over lunch. Which movies has he seen and which Brian will watch and ones he isn't going to sit through. He tells of the plays or other cool New York stuff he has done. We talk about work and everything else in life and remind each other how great it is when we get to talk.

May not seem like anything exciting for most. Certainly not worth getting up at 5AM to write about but these are just a few of my friends that I try to keep in touch with. These are the people that keep my head above the water in the ocean of life and encourage me to keep swimming. That I can get through whatever it is I am going through and I am there for them to reassure them that they are much stronger than they believe as well. No one is in  this ocean alone, There is always someone to reach out to and grab hold of when you need a lift. I know people try to do the same on the internet and there are people that will reach out but no imoge can do what a hug or visiting with an old friend over a meal can do. Maybe we should all plan to get together more and put down all these smart devices and hang out with some really smart friends.  I am just glad that over the years I have always remembered my love for these and many more friends. And getting together with them for an hour every few months is way better than anything else in the world.

So to all of you who read this far. As the Golden Girls theme says, "Thank you for being a friend."

Good-bye friend

So I learned a secret last week at work. A secret that the person that I sat next to had gave their notice and was leaving. Now in the three years I have sat at my desk this person has sat by me for maybe a year and a half.

 I feel as though I have lost a friend. Not the friend that you gossip about work or the friend that you eat lunch with but this is the friend that at the end of the night while my mom was sick I would cry to in the middle of the parking lot about how hard it is to take care of her and this person listened. Listened in the way only a person who had been a caregiver of a sick relative can listen. Listen as only a person who had walked more miles in those shoes than I would have a chance to. Listen like a life long friend.

This person was so private and yet so giving. Sharing only what had to be shared but always knowing what had to be shared. Not giving away too much. So this very private person told the management not to let others know that notice had been given. And in return they didn't. So no fanfare for  a partner in crime or no cake or cookies to be had. Just a quiet good-bye at the end of the night with post it notes exchanged with phone numbers between us.

I actually had a dream last night of what it will be like tomorrow when I go in and the desk is empty. I already know because I had a call at the end of the night that kept me later so my dream was pretty close.

In the world of work I know there is no time for grieving for the loss of a comrade. Just one of the newer people will be given that desk and and they will wipe it down and adjust the chair and put up their name on the wall and it will become theirs. This is the part of working in a place where turn over is part of life and it is a part I don't care for. Back in my Eckerd days I was known to not be open to new people and basically because they wouldn't stick it out for the long haul. In my almost 33 working years I have worked for 3 companies full time. 21 years at the first, 6 years at the second and now I have been here 5. At Eckerds my friends had all been around and I am still friends with them and most of us would still be at those jobs had CVS not closed the office we worked at. I know I am a good employee but good employee's don't last forever and change is so hard. And no matter how hard I work I worry that the job I do well just may not be good enough.

Seems today people think a job is like well everything in life is replaceable. And I the employee well I am replaceable as well. I mean if all you have to do is wipe down a desk and adjust a chair who's to say my chair won't be taken up by another new person another day. My friend next to me was hired by my supervisors but had to be a gift from God. I wish I could share all the laughs in our corner and all the tears. I am usually the one listening to people's stories and trying to guide them along their path but this person my friend was definitely sent to show me that I could move on and that I could change. And that life can be good maybe not in the way it was good before but good none the less.

I know there are some that are thinking well that person is probably moving on to better things. And knowing this person the way I do which really is not at all. That person will be fine. See I thought about calling this post by the person's name and I thought about using letters of the person's name through out the blog to be clever but this person is so much more clever than that. So instead I will not give away the sex or the age or any other clue of the person that sat next to me. I will only say to the next person that shares a space with this person will be the lucky one.

Good Luck my friend in whatever you do and know that you will not soon be forgotten in my little corner of the office.

Are you smart or just a smart ass?

So I thought I knew this week what I would write about. I was sure I was going to write about the Olympics and the way people treat each other for the sake of ratings or whatever it is that drives people to say something that is totally not necessary on television. I know millions were watching. I know we were probably the only ones that turned the channel and watched something else. I am not a sports person. I am really not that competitive. I like to win but sometimes just knowing I am good at something is good enough for me. That is perfect.

See when I was young I worked for Eckerd and I was not afraid to be right and it did not matter who I was talking to. The District Manager came in once and told me that my price changes were not up to date. I did not say I will get on that. I took him to the book and showed him that what was on the shelf was correct and that I had initialed myself that it was done because I knew I was right. I did not care that he was with his boss. I did not care who was standing there. The man told me I was wrong. That was not the last time I would do such a thing. No one ever told me not to until I had made my mark on everyone. So as I got older and I applied for a promotion as a Service Assistant and my DM asked me why I should get the job. Well there was only one reason because I bleed blue (the color of the trim in the store and the name was always as we called it Eckerd Blue). Those were my exact words. I knew this DM. He had been a Pharmacist for years and I had worked for him. Funny thing was I had always called him Phil as a Pharmacist but now as a DM people thought I should call him Mr. S... I did not get this. How did our relationship change because he got a promotion. I was taught to work side by side with your people until they did the job as best they could then let them go on their own. That was how I taught people how to straighten shoes and hats and fill the coolers. Seemed when you put this divide you were no longer working with someone, now you are working for them. Not the same. Can you go tell someone you work for the same thing you tell someone you work with. Not usually.

So Phil he did promote me to Service Assistant. I had been with Eckerd now for about 10 years and I made more money hourly as a Service Assistant than most Assistant Managers but you know that girl that was 16, 17 or even 20 that said whatever she wanted is now 26 and can not get promoted to save my life. It has became a quest. I was put in some terrible stores but made the best of them. Worked in a store that was one of the companies oldest with a manager that had been the golden child but as all do somehow fell from the Grace of the company. But we made the best of this old store that we could and when it was time to close the store we were there to the last day. Then after that I spent time in Gulfport. This is a small town along the water near south St. Petersburg. On the verge of a beautiful waterfront community and the otherside of the railroad tracks set a small plaza with a Winn Dixie and an Eckerd. This store was as small as can be. So small we had to get the truck in the morning before the store open because it had to be unloaded through the front door. I worked with an Asst Manager and we share the responsibility of opening and closing the store doing all the ordering and payroll but no title for me. A store manager came in once every couple weeks and left a list of what she wanted to see done. Otherwise we ran the store as we saw fit. Now this Asst. Jimmy he had an older brother who was a manager for Eckerd. His brother would come in all the time and tell me I should be promoted and he said he would help me get promoted. I thought great. I have to get transferred to South St. Pete to find someone who does not know my reputation or doesn't care. So either way I had been at this store for months and Jimmy got transferred. Now it is me and another Service Asst. Her and I did not get along. Still had the Manager checking in on us. Now I had been there for almost 8 months and it is almost time for inventory and I have gotten most of the backroom ready by myself and working on the ledge. I thought if I get this store through inventory, I don't have anything to prove to anyone. I know I can do this job with or without the pay or the title and I am. So 2 days before inventory the Manager in charge came in and said that I did not have enough done and that she was going to have to bring someone else in to help get ready for inventory. That was crazy. It did not matter what list she left I would have gotten it done and I knew she was not right. But that afternoon I got transferred to another store in St. Pete. Now I am working for Jimmy's brother Rob. I was pissed.

But like everything else with Eckerd it was another grain of salt that was probably my own fault because of my smart mouth. Rob and I worked together like crazy. This store was right on US 19 and busy and huge. This was a store that probably could have used 2 Asst Managers but all Rob got was me. But he did have faith in me. As we came into the holidays he said I can give you overtime as long as everything is good in the store. So we kept the store up and I was working 50 hours a week or more depending on how busy. This store the pharmacy was busy and when someone came in I would go back and type for the pharmacist or answer the phone or whatever they needed. That is what I was taught to do. One day Rob walked by the pharmacy and looked up and said I thought you went home I said, no there was a line and well here I am.
As it got closer to holidays we were working so much when I walked in the door one day I said Hi, honey I am home. I was not sure why I was driving home just to get back up and come back in the morning but that was what it was taking. Well you knew the day would come didn't you. I mean I am still a Service Asst and really I know more about Eckerds than a lot of the managers out there but you know there I was. So on the phone the week before Thanksgiving was the DM calling for me? Rob was not there. Well now of course this is not Phil he was not the DM in that area but this DM he didn't like me at all. So he called to tell me he was promoting me. Well of course he is. I have over 60 hours on the schedule for next week and I can make more money than Rob and I think this is what finally did it. The dollar wins, or did I or did they. I am not sure. How come I feel defeated for getting promoted. Years, I worked hard. Year after year. Rob was proud like a father who's child finished kindergarten but I was frustrated.

Now I would not work with Rob much longer. I would get hurt at a work party at another store in St. Pete during a remodel the same day my store got robbed. The same day another Asst Manager was killed being robbed leaving the store that night. Not really a good day in Eckerd.

Where are we going here. Hard work and perseverance does not always get you what you want, or sometimes what you want is not what you need? I am not sure.

So for the big tie in. Olympians are people too. They work really hard for years for their goals. And sometimes they get a gold and sometimes they don't. Sometimes the story is pretty but the finish isn't. Sometimes the finish is pretty and the story is not. Everything is not a made for tv mini-series. These people have to go on and live a lifetime after these games are over. Some of them are going to retire from a sport they have done since they were 4 and they are now 24 or 34. Either way they have so many good years to live and their whole life is not summed up on the podium today. It will be summed up 30 or so years from now when they are showing their medal or telling the story of the one that got away to their grandchildren. And they can write the chapters afterwards knowing they did the best they could while competing and will continue in that same fashion whatever job they choose in life.

Now for the sideline reporter that ticked me off and the analyst that irritated me, I will assume you are past your prime in your sport and these are not your finest moments either and you to will go on to do better with your live and learn that knowing everything does not get you everything and being the smartest person in the class and being a smart ass are not the same thing. I know now. I was both when it came to a lot of things but sometimes I should have just kept my mouth shut.

Happy Birthday Gemini

Well today is Memorial Day. The end of this week is my best friend from my teen years birthday and on Sunday will be my husband Brian's.

Funny they are both Gemini. Some words I found that describe them energetic, clever, witty and imagintive.

So most of you know Brian: And if clever and witty isn't that his middle name not sure what is. I also read one of their traits is that they can talk and talk and talk. Well if that is not Brian. Sometimes I am amazed at how much he has to say when we are out with others. And I read that Gemini's make for interesting and exciting friends. We certainly never have a dull moment.

And when I was a teen I worked with this guy Keith. He started working with me on his 16th birthday. For some reason it was a family tradition to work for Eckerd's. His big sister Lisa had made quite a name for herself in the company. Youngest assistant manager, youngest store manager and a girl. This was the early 1980's. Later I would also work with his younger brother Jeff. All of which are friends forever.

Don't know who started it but Keith was referred to as "Cool Keith". Oh if you didn't know him in the 80's he started off with the clean cut look that he has today but then after high school the hair started growing and growing. This was the days of the Hair Bands. Keith had the look. I mean "Cool Keith". Oh and he had the car a 1979? Trans Am. gold of course. Nothing too flashy. Not. I did get to drive it a few times. Once right after it had been painted he had me take it to my house so it would not get scratched in the parking lot while he worked. Those guys and their cars. Oh well I did have a Mustang II and Steve had a Duster. Those were the days. Girls loved that Cool Keith. The hair the car all of it. They would be jealous because of our friendship. That is all it ever was. But it was the best. We both knew we were like siblings.

We both got the chance to work at a tiny AM radio station together in our late teens early 20's. Another dream job. Not very glamourous but it was a fun experience.
 Keith and I were the fastest friends.. I could never have imagined when I met him. I remember him learning how to turn off the lights in the store. My god this kid was full of energy. Really kid next I will teach you how to sweep the floor. How could he get excited over learning how to switch off breakers. You know I was a whole 9 months older than him. We worked together for about 2 years. He and I closed most nights. Midnight back then and got up in the morning and went to school.  How many teens do you know that worked whenever they could. Overtime was a given when available. He and I would pay each other to work when we wanted off like it was a game. Straightening the store and goofing off were one in the same. Everything was a game or a race. Who could do it faster, better and with the least mistakes. And when I say mistakes I mean not catch whatever the other did to stand in the way of your prerfection. We would walk through the other's aisles and see something out of place and think, "He will never find that." and smile. Knowing that at the end of the night we would check each others work and be thrilled to find that they did miss whatever it was. The more out of place the better. The more it mixed in the happier we were.

We would look at the list left for us in the evening and decide a time which we would complete the list by and meet in the pharmacy waiting area and then decide how long we could hide and not get called to the register or not be spotted by the assistant manager.

One time someone had put a greeting card that played happy birthday in the baler and everytime you went in the back room you would hear it over and over until we had to make a bale to get it out of there. The best and stupidest story well I have 2 stupid bale stories. When I was pretty young and I have the scar to show for it. If you couldn't roll the top part from one side to the other you would push down whatever was stopping it with one arm and pull with the other. Putting one arm in the way of the metal rollers. Get the idea. My one arm got caught in the metal roller and did it leave a mark. And the oh so caring assistant told me something along the lines of guess you won't do that again. But one night Keith was hiding from work and had climbed inside the baler and pulled the smashing part over the top of himself part way of course so that the saftey release was still pushed in and it would not go down. I scared him to death by pressing the button which just made a sound but he came jumping out. We had to be crazy right.

Now I know this all sounds like fun and games but there was a lot of putting away shoes and filling combi loungers and my god the coolers. I think then we may have had 8 doors. We couldn't keep them filled to save our lives. This was Clearwater Beach  in the 80's. Our Saturday's were fill the chairs, fill the coolers, fill the shoes, fill the chairs again and set the ad. Don't forget whomever was doomed to the register was trapped in a cage. At first everyone has to run the register but as you had been there for a while you could find your freedom in the store. Freedom to work until you could not work anymore. But in the same right you could play until you got caught. Did I mention everything was a game. We were teenagers. It wasn't just me and Keith but Steve, Margie, Karen, Nelson, Shawn, Kim, Valerie, Cindy, Tracy and the God Father to all of us, Frank.

Frank taught us everything we know about retail and I am sure the lot of us know quite a bit about it even if we never straighten a shelf for pay again in our lives. We know that he knew how to make that store run like a well oiled machine and he could do it all from the parking meter out front with a cigarette in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. Later after I had been there a while he would joke that I was the worst employee he ever had. Well I had never worked before in a store and his way of teaching was not exactly the hand holding type. It was more do it right or don't do it at all. Even if you have no idea how the right way to do it is. You will figure it out quick or you got yelled at again.

Oh the best Frank story I have is the day we found out that he was getting transferred and Keith's sister Lisa was going to be the new manager. I was devistated. I did not know Lisa at the time except for that she was his sister but I knew that meant Keith and I could not work together anymore at that store. Siblings could not work together. So I knew he would be transferred as well. I was so sad. I cried. Frank and I were standing out back and I was crying and he was smoking and he said can just one of those tears be for me. I smiled and said yeah I guess.

All the friendships from then that I still have I cherish. I don't imagine any of us will ever have the fun we had then. We even knew it was fun then. And not many kids today or even back then realize the friends they make at their first jobs are better than friends from school and the influences they have on your life (I do not still have any friends from school) but friends from Eckerd I can count them name them and now we have all been friends for more than 20 years almost pushing 30 and remember resets and floor cleaning and making bales and filling shoes with a smile on my face.  Not always a smile when doing shoes but when you were teaching someone new how to do it and could walk away. That was when we smiled. 15 boxes of shoes. Have them all put up and straightened. See you later I will be back in the pharmacy hiding from this real work.

Now I wanted this blog to be about my friend Keith  and our friendship but I see there was a lot that made Keith and I friends. All of the funny stories which had to do with working together. But I also realized that this is about lasting relationships. Of the people I listed earlier and me 4 of us married someone we met working with them at Eckerd. Margie married Scott, Cindy married Frank, Lisa married Erik and I married Brian.

So I am tying this back to what Brian and Keith have in common. The day I met Brian was 7 years to the day after I had met Keith. I met Brian in the back room of the same Eckerd.  It was his first day working in the same Clearwater Beach store. Hired by my dear friend Lisa (Keith's sister). Funny thing Brian had a rat tail hanging off the back of his head and Lisa had recommended that he lose it before he started working. I promise I would not looked twice at a guy with a rat tail.  Next day Lisa tells him he cleans up pretty good. I come in to visit my friend Lisa and here is this new guy who is a smart ass, know it all and I start talking to him. A few days later would be his birthday and we went out and played a game of darts together. This Brian guy and I were friends right away. Like nothing I had seen in a long time. And 5 years later we were married. Funny how fate and Eckerd brought all of us together.

So today I say Happy Birthday Keith. My dear friend. Whom I never talk to but feel as close to as the days we worked together and got ice cream at Howard Johnson's with Steve and Margie after work and the day you and Steve pulled the ladder out from under me up on top the office where the paper supplies were. I smile anytime I tell an Eckerd story and think of the fun and the work and how we learned to do both really well together.  And I think of the fate and magic how the stars had to align for all of us to meet and work together and become friends and some of us got married and even had kids. All started with two teenagers meeting in May of 1984. Amazing.

Happy Birthday Keith and Brian. Love you both.

To Old Friends

Well Tonight is going to be a sunshine moment. Brian and I are going to dinner with some of my oldest friends. Eckerd Friends. I wish I could have them all together. Over the years there have been store friends and corporate friends. Lunch Bunch friends. Most of my Eckerd friends I have had for more than 20 years.

Like my job at Eckerd's my friends from then are all still attached to me. There are the ones that were from the store and still work for CVS in the stores like Lisa, Lill and of course Tracy. There are friends that moved from the stores to corporate like Andy, Cindy, Jana, Kim, Linda, Mo, Scotty, Shelly and me. Friends that moved on to better things like Erik, Keith and Brian and when I say better I don't me the big W. There are those that moved away like Alane, Steve, Mary, Scott and Margie. There is even a Dr. amongst us Kim B. I can not forget Joy who wins most likely to quit a job and surprise the crap out of all of us. If you don't know how Joy quit ask Brian he was there that morning when Bob Sanders learned who not to mess with.

There are old times with Frank and Cindy the night Steve's baby was delivered and Keith, Kim, and I were all at the hospital. I have attended so many weddings for these people listed. Most have been to our house and we have caught up on what is going on in our lives now but we always talk about the funny times we had at Eckerd. The night I stayed for floor cleaning with Scott and Margie and the floor cleaners truck was parked out front and a drunk driver hit his truck over the park bench up on the curb and through the window of the convenience store next door. It was the loudest bang and quick hide the beer under the desk. The floor cleaner walked outside saw his truck have way to the produce and walked back in Eckerd and finished cleaning the store. Not much else he could do. Scott drove him home but could not strap the floor cleaning machine to the back of the Fiero so it was left until the next day.

Oh yeah. Steve super gluing his eye closed. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to touch your eyes when handling super glue.

The night the bales out back were caught on fire and poor Linda was re baling what was left to clean up the mess and she looked like she had just followed Santa down the dirtiest chimney ever.

Mo moved away with Jason and came back after the demise of Brooks. Jason moved on to Rite Aid  with some of the Eckerd Corporate folks. Then Mo came home and went back to the store but all Tammy had was midnights. So  I got him to work with me again. I am sure I told him it was terrible but I doubt he had any idea what he was getting into. But again new friends have been made and here we are. We had our funny moments at both jobs. Watching video of stupid people doing retarded things in front of the camera.

The night before Fred Forester retired Lisa and I were hanging balloons in the pharmacy and putting up streamers and I fell and broke my arm. Only I would sit on the floor and laugh and cry at the same time. I had been making fun of Lisa for being a wimp and wearing a wrist brace and here I slipped when stepping on a stool and fell. I did suck it up until the next day before I had it x-ray ed and found out it was broke.

Fred Forester was the first to expose me and Keith to talk radio. Bob Lassiter. I could listen all afternoon. Look him up online if you never heard him while he was alive. He has a great Christmas story that will make you cry for sure. Keith and I would sneak back just to listen for a few minutes at a time.

Keith. Do I need to say anymore. He and I made straightening a store into a competition. We would hide things in the others section to see how long it would take until they found it. We would set a time and say we will be done by 10 and then goof off the rest of the night together.  Pay each other astronomical amounts of money to work when the other wanted off. Him and Steve pulled the ladder away while I was up on top of the office where we stored the paper products. Steve used to jump from the top of one bin to the other. They were only about 20 feet off the ground. But we were teenagers. Invincible.

Everyone knew Andy and if you knew Andy you knew Comfy. The perfect name for her. When I was at store 7 with Andy it was like having your mom and dad watching over you. Comfy would bring food and if Andy didn't eat it she would call me and tell me to. The kids that worked there Shelly, Kevin and Rose was not a kid but she was always there. I see Shelly every once in a while. Ironically she is linked to Tracy through her dear friend Susan's son Brandon who ironically I babysat him when he was a kid and now they to have kids of their own.  If we weren't picking one up to make sure they showed up for work we were buying lunch or a soda to get them to work. I always found that to be a great way to get them to work.

Tracy turned 30 and I teased her like she was turning a 100. We have had 20 years of birthdays since then and each one she gets better with. For her 50th I had her flocked with pink flamingos. We had our picture taken with them. I remember when Amanda was born and this summer I was at the hospital after Amanda had her son Quinn. This is a multi-generational friendship. I took pictures for her son and niece's weddings. And her niece has a daughter that shares my birthday.

So tonight to Friends!

Happy Memories

Today’s installment is being written because I have been reminded that for all the sad memories I have there are also happy memories. So back to my childhood.

Remembering so much it is sometimes hard to pick a favorite memory but one I always bring up I was about 12 with my brother and sisters we would swim in the bay across the street from our house everyday in the summer.  We did it so much that our parents did not always come over with us. Well I remembered hearing a story of my uncle swimming from the north end of the beach to Caladesi Island as a teen. I thought we can do that. So the 5 of us on this day that we were unsupervised we took off from the dock across from our house and swam to Island Estates.  My youngest sister was only 5 at the time so we decided so that we could all make the trip we towed her on a raft.  We swam the further we got I remember pausing for a moment and thinking this is a lot of water and we are just 5 little heads and a raft but like everything else the 5 of us did together we made it to Island Estates. We took a break there is a small area of sand off the back of the building directly across from where we started.  Now the hard part we had to swim back. No way we are stopping  now.  We did not consider the current,  it did not seem to affect us on the way over but on the way back. We decided not to fight the current and let it carry us. We were heading west but drifting south. The closer we got back to the beach we had to pick which house we knew and whose dock had a ladder we could climb up. We got to the Jackson’s house about 2 blocks south of ours where I babysat and we climbed up their dock and walked home. We did it.

Always being adventurous another favorite memory of the 5 of us together we called it going exploring. We would walk to the north end of Clearwater Beach past the end of the houses and cut through the sand dunes and look for tidal pools where the tide has gone out and left a small pool of water and some fish and small creatures for us to check out. Starfish, sea urchins, sand dollars, back in the day we even once found a sea horse. All of which we would look at and touch but leave to live another day. Hermit crabs, conchs and who knows what else. As we headed home we might walk along the sand bar and look for shells that were no longer inhabited to take home.

Considering all my memories my next favorite, take me back to the days working at Eckerd as a teen. The manager was a character in a book all his own. Everyone knew him and his personality. The way I was hired was my mother was in the store one day and he said to her, Isn’t one of your kids old enough to work. Next thing I knew I had a job. I went in to fill out an application and they were expecting me to work that night. So I went home changed clothes and started working. November 17, 1983. I did not leave Eckerd until the company sold off their Florida stores and moved the corporate office to Rhode Island January 7, 2005.  I often joke, No one ever told me you are supposed to quit your first job. There are so many fond memories of Eckerd.  After a few years I was pretty bossy about my knowledge of how my store was run. As new people came it was no matter what their title I knew more than them. All you had to do was ask me and I would tell you that. I would teach them the ropes of the beach store but not without a little humiliation maybe even hazing. But I cannot count how many times I straightened the aisle of shoes and filled them so when someone new came along the first thing I would teach was how to straighten the shoes. If you never worked in the store you don’t know what a mess they would be at the end of the night but it was not a job many were fond of. I made so many friends in that day most of which I still have. I wish I could name them all but I don’t want to leave any out. So if you worked with me in those days. I still love every memory. I laugh at the night I was filling the paper aisle and the paper towels were stored up above the office. It took a 12 foot ladder to get to them and I would throw down what I was filling. One of the funny guys I worked with decided while I was up there he was going to take the ladder away. I could only laugh. I was 12 feet up in the air and no way down. I just kidded him saying it leaves you the whole store to straighten if you leave me up here. He moved the ladder back after I was done throwing everything down I needed. Some of which may even hit him in the head.

Years pass by but still I smile thinking of those days. I am sure things happening today will one day be memories I will look back at and smile. The same way I smile at our wedding day. For those of you not married. I always recommend to brides take your time and soak it in. You have been planning this day so long and it will all be over in a few hours. Don’t rush it.  I would say the same for those with small children. They will not be small for long and they will only walk for the first time once and they will only say mama for the first time once. Cherish those memories. Since there are no children of my own, my favorite memories of small children are of my nieces and nephews. The first time my niece Alex said my name, I had coaxed her for years and all of a sudden when she was about 3 in my mother’s kitchen out of the blue she said, Aunt Jeanne blah, blah, blah. I say blah, blah, blah because after Aunt Jeanne nothing else mattered. I was brought to tears. Alex said my name. I know for Aunt Bethy and Aunt Billie that was probably not as big a deal and they all could say Uncle Al or Unk Al as Paul would say but that day Alex said Aunt Jeanne. And that thought will always bring a smile to my face. With the younger nieces and nephew it was the day they were born. I do remember the night before Alex was born as well but Emily and Ashley, their mother called very early in the morning and I stopped on my way to work to take their first pictures. With Paul I got the call at 10:30 at night and said Billie was having a C-section.  I was right out the door. I heard his first cry and while they were stitching Billie up the nurse brought Paul out and Jeff and I held him before he was weighed. That is the closest I will ever get to the joy of childbirth.

All these memories make me smile. And not a single tear was shed in the writing of this Blog. Instead I smiled the whole time. Thinking about the great memories of days gone by and people I still have in my life and always will. If only in my memories as time goes by.

Oh how many memories I have all of which have a place in my heart and my head. At times they rise and fall and sometimes slip away other times bubble back to the surface. So if your favorite memory of me was not mentioned today do not think that you are not in my heart and my head.  You are safely locked away in my vault of memories to be cherished like an antique silk covered book. Wrapped in tissue and safe in a box to be brought out and shared and put away for safe keeping forever.

The End is the Beginning

I feel as though this chapter of my life started last May.

I was fired from my job. I hated it and loved at the same time. I don't do anything half way. It is all or nothing. And no matter what anyone there believes I gave all I had to the last day I worked there.

After which I found that I was so sick and weak that I had to have a blood transfusion.

So in a way that week part of me died. And part of me was renewed.

I lost old friends in the mix. But were they truely friends if they no longer call or have nothing to do with me because we do not work together anymore. I still have contact with 3 people from that job. We get together as we did before and always will.

Just like Eckerds after 20 years. There are still some that almost 8 years later I still speak to and see. Not as much as I like, but I do.

Now with my new chapter, new job I again have new friends. Some will be come old friends and some will fade with time. Sometimes I am suprized by the ones that stay and the ones that go.

Today made me think of the past year and how it has been a year of endings and a year of beginnings.
Brian and I had a terrible loss of a family. But we have had new additions. We have had the joy of sharing our house with our nieces this summer from Alaska and Arizona. The joy of getting to know them and them us. The memories made will never be forgotten. 4th of July on the back steps of City Hall watching fireworks over the bay. Uncle Brian taking the girls to Adventure Island. The girls got to know each other better as well. Sharing time together watching movies and I will never forget the afternoon we came home from work and all of them were sleeping on the couch snug as 3 bugs in a rug.

So today I attended church as Brian and I have the last few weeks. Last week we shared our story of loss with the church for their Domestic Violence Charity offering. But today I went alone and had a gift of renewal again. They spoke this morning of giving up your worldly belongings to get everything back.

Just like in the book Eat, Pray and Love. As the story goes the husband and wife are in the process of divorcing and the husband is a mooch and takes and takes. Finally she says fine take it all. I want nothing but to be rid of you ( I paraphrase). But in the end she travels she is renewed in life and prayer and again finds Love.

So, Again we have met new people at church that have welcomed us and some of these same people I feel will become old friends. For Brian attending First Church is like going home to a familar place. Where to me it is like a new job not sure what to do or say and following the lead of others but yet made to feel comfortable as they show the way.

I was thinking we have given up so many things in the last year me without a job yet we did not suffer. We still had a roof over our head and food to eat. We lost family and my cat Mary. Dear Mary who had so much of me in her. Her and I were a pair for 21 years. She would only let most people pet her a few times and then she would scratch or bite them. Those who know me know that I can sometimes be the same way. Don't want anything too close. But always loving those who take the time to know me and let me know them so I am not afraid of their love and I let them in.

So as I go to work this week and live my life I am going to give all I have and in return expect nothing. So everything I get in return will be a blessing.