So, Tonight watching one of my favorite shows I learned a new word. The word is Generativity which as Dr. Bull (the main character on one of my favorite shows Bull) defined it as a person driven to help others and the belief in the future. To me it was no matter how bad things are they will be ok or better? and Webster says that it means a need to nurture or guide others. It is a psychology term. A trait people gain in their 40s-60s. Basically this is the time in your life you are going to leave your mark. Especially for those that have children but since I don't we will ignore especially. I thought 40 is a little late for leaving a mark on your kids if you had them when they are 20 or 25 well your mark has been left for better or worse. So I am going to say that I would believe that people start thinking about the hill they have been climbing to get to be 50 or so years old. Ironically I am very familiar with said hill. And how as they reach that point they look both back at what they have done and forward to what they want to accomplish. They also are re-evaluating the timeline they imagined when they were 20 and how the world was going to stop for them and how they would break through the glass ceiling.
Now of course when I was thinking about this word since the beginning of the show and now some 4 hours later the word is still with me and sleep is not. I thought I would see how this word fits with me. Of course in the episode of Bull we have an hour to find a man innocent of a murder he didn't commit and he was totally aware of at the time. I, like Bull's character because he himself though he would never admit it might just have a little bit of this Gernerativity in himself. For the most part wants to believe the best of people and will defend those he believes in until the end. Hey now that sounds like someone I know. He used one of the people that works for him as an example that her life has had ups and downs but over-all has been alright by her definition even though other less optimistic people might say she has had it rough but rough is ok because it makes you stronger. Oh now I think I am breaking out into a Kelly Clarkson song. Again sounds familiar.
If I was going to analyze my on generativity I would say that I do believe no matter how tough things are they are going to be ok. And that those tough things make me who I am. And for the most part I like who I am. There have been times in my life I might not have thought that.I mean I have always thought myself strong but I don't think I always liked how I portrayed strong. I used to think that strong meant loud and in front of everyone. Just ask anyone that worked with me from when I was 17 until I was in my 30s, but as I got older I have learned that speaking very quietly to someone is sometimes gets their attention better than yelling and it makes people listen. Not that I am but in movies when ever the bad guy is going to tell you something he really wants you to hear he makes you lean in to listen. So I have learned that by not yelling and making people lean in they do sometimes hear what I am saying and maybe I can make a difference to the future generations even if they are not my own children. See I knew especially didn't apply to me.
I have learned in life that it does make one feel better sometimes to help others. And well I could live off of that feeling. There are times I do get sad because I feel like if you bought me a gift and it isn't something I like that you don't get me and I used to think that was sad because the person didn't care but I think the saddest thing is maybe they don't know me and that is most likely my fault. Now up until this point I had not a tear in my eye but see that sadness from people not knowing me that hurts. Is because I don't show people the true me or do I protect myself from being hurt that I don't let many in. Hmm. I thought this was about my mark on the future but if I don't let anyone in how can they remember me. Of course I had to just stop because I was breaking into song again. "I will remember you."The next line of the Sarah Mclachlan song says, "Will you remember me." So here we are now I am not so sure I like the word if it is all about people thinking of me after I am gone. What my mark on the world is. I really like the idea better as Bull put it, A person that believes in the future. Well I do believe in the future and no matter the good the bad or the ugly. It will be ok. And on that I will say that I am a generative person. Ok one last song. It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it looks like it is going to be another sleepless night. Ding, Ding Ding if you guessed Crystal Gayle you are playing along well. On that note get it, musical note. Good Night.
Thursday, April 5, 2018
Friday, March 16, 2018
Books Some of my Favorite Things
Not sure as always when I start what I want to write about. I found a new little book store on Friday. You know the kind that used to be everywhere that sells used books for a reasonable price. The Little Shop of Wonders a very nice clean store and organized in a fashion that you can find what you are looking for. I bought two new books Marjory Stoneman Douglas' The Everglades: River of Grass and Washington Irving's The Sketch Book. both caught my eye and both right inside the door.
They have a section of Florida books and that is where I found the first book for less than a dollar. Yes, it is yellowed with age but so am I and the price is right for a book that I have wanted to read for a while. Written in 1947 about a place I have only driven through but would like to visit. As humans I find it sad what we do to nature to suit our needs. Our need to live in beautiful weather year round. Our need to live beyond our means. Our need for our own little slice of heaven on earth. But in the process we dry up places that have been wet before white men came to this country and flood areas that have never been wet. We kill off entire species so we can live in the beautiful place that we found beautiful because of the plants and animals. When we invade we are like the Brazilian pepper tree impossible to get rid of once it has taken root. I have only read the first chapter but she starts at the beginning with how the Everglades got it's name and explained that it is a river that ebbs and flows. She also shows that in the 1940's some of the smarter than average humans had already started to notice the damage we were doing but still today we argue how to resolve the problem but she fought her whole live to make the Everglades back to the natural wonder it once was. I know we can't undo all of what we have done but it makes me happy to see that there are still people trying to preserve the natural beauty and give us the ability to visit parts of the River of Grass without ruining it further.
Now off of my soap box and the second book I selected a less than $4 purchase and it to published in the 1940s but it is a compilation of short stories written by Washington Irving in the 1820s. I read 4 of them so far one called The Voyage about an American going to Europe for the first time and as he cruises across the ocean how the trip cleanses you from where you are from and opens you up to what you are about to see. The one thing I have noticed about great writers is they use five or six words to say what could be said with two. You just don't say that it is a beautiful day. You say something like I woke to cool breeze that smells of fresh laundry hanging to dry and the sunshine on your face warms you from the inside out. My words not his. He would be much more poetic. The second was called Roscoe. He writes of going to a library of the day in England and meeting William Roscoe a person he feels is an icon but here he is in place where others gather to read and catch up on the news and Roscoe is just a normal person. For those that have never been to a library he is describing a scene you might find on morning in Starbucks of today (just guessing because I have only been in one once.) The third was called The Wife now if you are a married man and you have lived through some hard times and the person that got you through those times is that beautiful bride you picked for yourself a long time ago you will appreciate this story. He describes her as poetic as first love but with the hard times comes a sense of stability one might not feel on their own. She is the voice that says everything is going to be ok, even when she is not sure that is the case. She makes you face what you are not willing to face alone and she stands by you even after the worst has happened. Makes me kind of proud to be The Wife. And the last on Rip Van Winkle. I remember the story from my child-hood a less than ambitious man goes off for a walk on day and decides to stay for the night in the woods is better than facing his wife. He loses his dog and meets up with a strange small man and then doses off for the night. When he wakes and heads home nothing is quite the same as it was and he doesn't see any people he recognizes and he is starting to wonder if he is in the right village when he comes across his own house and it was in poor shape when he left yesterday but today it is abandon. What could have happened he wonders so he heads over to one of his favorite resting spots and inquires where his friends are and he is told they have been dead on 18 years. When he inquires of himself now not even sure who he is people tell him the story of how he wandered off one day and never came back. As he explains who he is they are amazed by the tale he tells.
When they say they don't write them like that any more that is no joke. Great little story that you can't put down. I didn't plan on doing book reviews today but maybe someone reading this on their computer will be inspired to pick up a book and enjoy.
They have a section of Florida books and that is where I found the first book for less than a dollar. Yes, it is yellowed with age but so am I and the price is right for a book that I have wanted to read for a while. Written in 1947 about a place I have only driven through but would like to visit. As humans I find it sad what we do to nature to suit our needs. Our need to live in beautiful weather year round. Our need to live beyond our means. Our need for our own little slice of heaven on earth. But in the process we dry up places that have been wet before white men came to this country and flood areas that have never been wet. We kill off entire species so we can live in the beautiful place that we found beautiful because of the plants and animals. When we invade we are like the Brazilian pepper tree impossible to get rid of once it has taken root. I have only read the first chapter but she starts at the beginning with how the Everglades got it's name and explained that it is a river that ebbs and flows. She also shows that in the 1940's some of the smarter than average humans had already started to notice the damage we were doing but still today we argue how to resolve the problem but she fought her whole live to make the Everglades back to the natural wonder it once was. I know we can't undo all of what we have done but it makes me happy to see that there are still people trying to preserve the natural beauty and give us the ability to visit parts of the River of Grass without ruining it further.
Now off of my soap box and the second book I selected a less than $4 purchase and it to published in the 1940s but it is a compilation of short stories written by Washington Irving in the 1820s. I read 4 of them so far one called The Voyage about an American going to Europe for the first time and as he cruises across the ocean how the trip cleanses you from where you are from and opens you up to what you are about to see. The one thing I have noticed about great writers is they use five or six words to say what could be said with two. You just don't say that it is a beautiful day. You say something like I woke to cool breeze that smells of fresh laundry hanging to dry and the sunshine on your face warms you from the inside out. My words not his. He would be much more poetic. The second was called Roscoe. He writes of going to a library of the day in England and meeting William Roscoe a person he feels is an icon but here he is in place where others gather to read and catch up on the news and Roscoe is just a normal person. For those that have never been to a library he is describing a scene you might find on morning in Starbucks of today (just guessing because I have only been in one once.) The third was called The Wife now if you are a married man and you have lived through some hard times and the person that got you through those times is that beautiful bride you picked for yourself a long time ago you will appreciate this story. He describes her as poetic as first love but with the hard times comes a sense of stability one might not feel on their own. She is the voice that says everything is going to be ok, even when she is not sure that is the case. She makes you face what you are not willing to face alone and she stands by you even after the worst has happened. Makes me kind of proud to be The Wife. And the last on Rip Van Winkle. I remember the story from my child-hood a less than ambitious man goes off for a walk on day and decides to stay for the night in the woods is better than facing his wife. He loses his dog and meets up with a strange small man and then doses off for the night. When he wakes and heads home nothing is quite the same as it was and he doesn't see any people he recognizes and he is starting to wonder if he is in the right village when he comes across his own house and it was in poor shape when he left yesterday but today it is abandon. What could have happened he wonders so he heads over to one of his favorite resting spots and inquires where his friends are and he is told they have been dead on 18 years. When he inquires of himself now not even sure who he is people tell him the story of how he wandered off one day and never came back. As he explains who he is they are amazed by the tale he tells.
When they say they don't write them like that any more that is no joke. Great little story that you can't put down. I didn't plan on doing book reviews today but maybe someone reading this on their computer will be inspired to pick up a book and enjoy.
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
A Storm Brewing Inside
Today I want to say it is very cold outside. Less than 50 degrees and even though the sky is blue the wind is cold and the air colder. So with the fireplace going I decided I wanted to write what I can about the last few months and show my gratitude for some people that I need.
Between life and my body and a rough hurricane season I have had a tough time these last few months. I was anxious about my out of wack periods and Hurricane Irma, so nervous I wasn't sure which thing to worry about. So I talked to a friend about my anxiety and saw the doctor about my period, and we then had Hurricane Irma and tree fell on our house but by December we had a new roof. So, Thanks to John and his crew for fixing the roof and it is as good as new.
The period thing was not so quick to resolve. I had ultrasounds and other tests that you probably don't care to know about and I had trips to the doctor and finally a recommendation for a DNC. This seems simple but I am not a simple person. It took some convincing, hand holding, reassurance and more convincing that this needs to be done. But the day before Thanksgiving it was done.
So prior to this outpatient procedure you have to have pre-surgery registration and testing. Now I know you know that I am an anxious person but all this testing and what are they testing me for and what are they going to find and what are they going to make me do that I am not comfortable with. Well the answer was nothing. Checked my blood pressure and an ekg. Oh yeah that, well I knew that that would not be normal. My normal is not normal by others standards but the hospital wanted a second opinion on that. Now I have known for a while my mortality is a big part of my anxiety so going to a cardiologist is kind of scary for me but again. These nurses and doctors and other people of this office were so kind to me that really the things in my head were scarier than what happened. The cardiologist signed off and even did an echocardiogram. I am good to go for my outpatient procedure the day before Thanksgiving. So Thanks! to the people at this office that helped. And if you are in this position and you help others through what are everyday procedures to you but not for the rest of us again my very humblest thanks.
Surprisingly a huge weight was lifted when I left that office with the all clear. I was so surprised but realized I had worried about my heart being the problem with my blood pressure and all but my healthier choices this past year have helped with my weight and my heart is ok. Which is amazing to me. I know you are thinking I thought this was about her female problems. So did I. But it wasn't. The female stuff didn't worry me like my heart but I really didn't realize it until this moment. Anesthesia also scared me but that was because of a previous bad experience and this time the day before Thanksgiving. I had my DNC and it went well. The doctor was pleased, the anesthesiologist was like I would have been ok with that ekg and here I was doing this thing a month or so ago I would have sworn I would not. Even though the outcome still concerned me the doctor said that she couldn't see everything she wanted. All results benign. So great back to work in a few days and we are good. I feel a big but coming...
Well then I get a call from the doctors office and she would like to talk about the results. The results were good they just told me that morning. But ok. I made another appointment and I thought I know where she is going and if everything is good and they said it was, why would she still want to do a hysterectomy? I am not going to worry about it. How mature of me to think.
Well I didn't worry. I was pretty darn sure I was not going to have a hysterectomy when I walked into her office two weeks later. It is the middle of December and here I am back at the doctor. Unless she tells me something really convincing I am not having a hysterectomy. That period is both literal and figurative. I mean I haven't had one since October life is good. Absence even makes my heart grow fonder of my period. I had no intention of removing this appendix of my female organs. I swear I know I get my stubbornness from my parents but man sometimes I even amaze myself how stubborn I am. But this doctor and I we have a history and let me say she is a gift from God. She has withstood my stubbornness only because she has practiced with my mother beforehand but I have subjected myself to more tests than I can shake a stick at and as stubborn as I am I know she has my best interest at heart. And having periods for months at a time is not normal and not good for anyone and even though everything before came back benign and with some medical details added that I prefer not to share with the class I said yes. Wait I said yes. Much quicker probably than she thought. But let me say she would have spent as long as it took to show me she why I needed to have this done. Just as she did 4 weeks earlier for a procedure. No cutting, no hospital stay and no recovery to speak of. So it is getting close to the end of the year and I know I have already paid my deductible for this year but there is no way. Oh this lady thinks of everything. She saved a surgical spot for me before the end of the year. She knows I am not made of money and as much as I wanted to go home and think about it I was going to have a hysterectomy in 5 days. This lady is so special to me and if you ever need a recommendation I will gladly tell you her and her staff are awesome. And as I re-read what I just wrote the tears are coming down my face because they all made me feel like it was ok to worry and be upset and anxious.
So we are getting deep here but 5 days later and here we are with a new roof and yes I am having a hysterectomy. All the things that worried me are behind me. I know that I have cried and worried a lot about this over the last few months but this is it and it is all happening so fast I don't really have time to worry but I have nothing left to worry about. This is in my best interest. The doctor has done every test and tried to find a way to allow my worry and attachment to my uterus to allow me to keep it but it is not in the cards. Again the pre-surgery testing, less than before and good thing because we only have 2 days now since it was Friday when I found out and today is Monday and my surgery is on Wednesday. I let my family know and a few friends but that was it. I am doing this.
Wednesday morning I was nervous but good to go. Let's just do this thing. In 4 weeks I will be back to work and in 6 weeks a new women some say. I don't know that I want to be new but here we go.
Here she is the doctor of doctors waiting for me to be prepped. I asked what are musical selection is for today and she said that they had 50s music on tap but she said no we were going to have Christmas Carols. She told me I would probably not remember any of this but wait there is more. The anesthesiologist his name would make you laugh and yes I remember he who I told I was so nervous he tried to lighten the mood by sharing some anesthesia humor. As I am signing the paper to say ok again these people don't think I am going to remember any of this but I do, he said, " This lady once asked what happens if I don't sign the paper and he replied a lot of screaming." I laughed then I think it was the drugs but honestly I was beyond anxious and if he would have been the guy a few weeks earlier I may have called the whole thing but I went with it and thought Brian would appreciate his humor and signed off and here we gooooooo.
Next thing I remember I was in a hospital room with Brian and my friend Lisa. Hmm. I don't remember the ride to the OR like I did a few weeks ago or being transferred to the table in OR. Yeah. The first time I remember all that. But here I am and it is all over and Brian is telling me I did great. The doctor talked to him and said everything was good. I remember laying there thinking what was I so worried about. The nurses were great. The only thing is that my glasses were with my clothes and they had not kept up with me. I ate soup and kept it down and that evening still no glasses some nice lady read the menu to me and I ordered food. No pain med pump so they took that. My IV was annoying because every time I moved it would start beeping. Not that they minded but they did have it moved even though it did beep more not nearly as much as it had. My sister came by and my friend Tracy and Brian came back I think.
I slept through the night and at 6 am after have blood drawn at 4 and watching tv for a couple hours the doctor came in and asked me some questions and she said, I didn't want to say it ahead of time but I thought this would be less painful for you than your worst period. Errrk. That is the sound of me hitting the breaks. But surprisingly so far less painful. Now I am still getting some pain meds through my IV but I am feeling pretty good at this moment and I told her the story about the anesthesiologist and she couldn't believe that and that I remembered that and the whole Christmas Carol thing. She said I had to go to the bathroom and walk a little and I was good to go home.
By 12:30 that afternoon. Less than 24 hours after having my surgery I was on my way home and feeling good. I know Christmas and New Years they passed me by but with just some ibuprofen for pain the first few days home I think I have done really well. I know there are those of you thinking when does the other shoe drop. But today is two weeks later and I have been following the doctors instructions and taking it easy and not driving and have stayed home a lot but I am feeling pretty good. Tired at times but really pretty damn good. Not lifting anything. No pain. The doctors office called this morning and again benign results. I love this doctor of mine. I know all her patients are not like me and she is probably thankful for that. So tomorrow I am allowed to drive and take myself to the doctors office and follow up.
Knowing all is well I want to Thank all the people who have held my hand and told me things were going to be ok. If you have driven me in the last two weeks or brought me food or flowers or taken me to lunch your friendship is worth so much to me I could spend all day thanking you and to those of you who have listened to me on the phone or at work or anywhere else I could have told someone what I feared. Thanks for helping me through all of this. Even friends that had their own things going on and took their time for me. I know but these people mean the world to me and they are probably the only ones left reading. Thanks and if I can ever return the favor I would be happy to.
So as a rule I don't name names but I am making an exception today. Dr. Jennifer Hayes and her staff have hearts as big as the world. I didn't just start going to her office a few months ago when this last bout of problems started. Dr. Hayes and I have a history. I have been seeing her for more than 5 years. I have always felt that whatever she recommended was in my best interest but sometimes the fear of the unknown stood between me and my best interest. Not this time. Everything in its time and this was my time to have the surgery. Thanks Dr. Hayes and everyone in your office.
Happy New Year 2018! Here she comes that new woman.
Between life and my body and a rough hurricane season I have had a tough time these last few months. I was anxious about my out of wack periods and Hurricane Irma, so nervous I wasn't sure which thing to worry about. So I talked to a friend about my anxiety and saw the doctor about my period, and we then had Hurricane Irma and tree fell on our house but by December we had a new roof. So, Thanks to John and his crew for fixing the roof and it is as good as new.
The period thing was not so quick to resolve. I had ultrasounds and other tests that you probably don't care to know about and I had trips to the doctor and finally a recommendation for a DNC. This seems simple but I am not a simple person. It took some convincing, hand holding, reassurance and more convincing that this needs to be done. But the day before Thanksgiving it was done.
So prior to this outpatient procedure you have to have pre-surgery registration and testing. Now I know you know that I am an anxious person but all this testing and what are they testing me for and what are they going to find and what are they going to make me do that I am not comfortable with. Well the answer was nothing. Checked my blood pressure and an ekg. Oh yeah that, well I knew that that would not be normal. My normal is not normal by others standards but the hospital wanted a second opinion on that. Now I have known for a while my mortality is a big part of my anxiety so going to a cardiologist is kind of scary for me but again. These nurses and doctors and other people of this office were so kind to me that really the things in my head were scarier than what happened. The cardiologist signed off and even did an echocardiogram. I am good to go for my outpatient procedure the day before Thanksgiving. So Thanks! to the people at this office that helped. And if you are in this position and you help others through what are everyday procedures to you but not for the rest of us again my very humblest thanks.
Surprisingly a huge weight was lifted when I left that office with the all clear. I was so surprised but realized I had worried about my heart being the problem with my blood pressure and all but my healthier choices this past year have helped with my weight and my heart is ok. Which is amazing to me. I know you are thinking I thought this was about her female problems. So did I. But it wasn't. The female stuff didn't worry me like my heart but I really didn't realize it until this moment. Anesthesia also scared me but that was because of a previous bad experience and this time the day before Thanksgiving. I had my DNC and it went well. The doctor was pleased, the anesthesiologist was like I would have been ok with that ekg and here I was doing this thing a month or so ago I would have sworn I would not. Even though the outcome still concerned me the doctor said that she couldn't see everything she wanted. All results benign. So great back to work in a few days and we are good. I feel a big but coming...
Well then I get a call from the doctors office and she would like to talk about the results. The results were good they just told me that morning. But ok. I made another appointment and I thought I know where she is going and if everything is good and they said it was, why would she still want to do a hysterectomy? I am not going to worry about it. How mature of me to think.
Well I didn't worry. I was pretty darn sure I was not going to have a hysterectomy when I walked into her office two weeks later. It is the middle of December and here I am back at the doctor. Unless she tells me something really convincing I am not having a hysterectomy. That period is both literal and figurative. I mean I haven't had one since October life is good. Absence even makes my heart grow fonder of my period. I had no intention of removing this appendix of my female organs. I swear I know I get my stubbornness from my parents but man sometimes I even amaze myself how stubborn I am. But this doctor and I we have a history and let me say she is a gift from God. She has withstood my stubbornness only because she has practiced with my mother beforehand but I have subjected myself to more tests than I can shake a stick at and as stubborn as I am I know she has my best interest at heart. And having periods for months at a time is not normal and not good for anyone and even though everything before came back benign and with some medical details added that I prefer not to share with the class I said yes. Wait I said yes. Much quicker probably than she thought. But let me say she would have spent as long as it took to show me she why I needed to have this done. Just as she did 4 weeks earlier for a procedure. No cutting, no hospital stay and no recovery to speak of. So it is getting close to the end of the year and I know I have already paid my deductible for this year but there is no way. Oh this lady thinks of everything. She saved a surgical spot for me before the end of the year. She knows I am not made of money and as much as I wanted to go home and think about it I was going to have a hysterectomy in 5 days. This lady is so special to me and if you ever need a recommendation I will gladly tell you her and her staff are awesome. And as I re-read what I just wrote the tears are coming down my face because they all made me feel like it was ok to worry and be upset and anxious.
So we are getting deep here but 5 days later and here we are with a new roof and yes I am having a hysterectomy. All the things that worried me are behind me. I know that I have cried and worried a lot about this over the last few months but this is it and it is all happening so fast I don't really have time to worry but I have nothing left to worry about. This is in my best interest. The doctor has done every test and tried to find a way to allow my worry and attachment to my uterus to allow me to keep it but it is not in the cards. Again the pre-surgery testing, less than before and good thing because we only have 2 days now since it was Friday when I found out and today is Monday and my surgery is on Wednesday. I let my family know and a few friends but that was it. I am doing this.
Wednesday morning I was nervous but good to go. Let's just do this thing. In 4 weeks I will be back to work and in 6 weeks a new women some say. I don't know that I want to be new but here we go.
Here she is the doctor of doctors waiting for me to be prepped. I asked what are musical selection is for today and she said that they had 50s music on tap but she said no we were going to have Christmas Carols. She told me I would probably not remember any of this but wait there is more. The anesthesiologist his name would make you laugh and yes I remember he who I told I was so nervous he tried to lighten the mood by sharing some anesthesia humor. As I am signing the paper to say ok again these people don't think I am going to remember any of this but I do, he said, " This lady once asked what happens if I don't sign the paper and he replied a lot of screaming." I laughed then I think it was the drugs but honestly I was beyond anxious and if he would have been the guy a few weeks earlier I may have called the whole thing but I went with it and thought Brian would appreciate his humor and signed off and here we gooooooo.
Next thing I remember I was in a hospital room with Brian and my friend Lisa. Hmm. I don't remember the ride to the OR like I did a few weeks ago or being transferred to the table in OR. Yeah. The first time I remember all that. But here I am and it is all over and Brian is telling me I did great. The doctor talked to him and said everything was good. I remember laying there thinking what was I so worried about. The nurses were great. The only thing is that my glasses were with my clothes and they had not kept up with me. I ate soup and kept it down and that evening still no glasses some nice lady read the menu to me and I ordered food. No pain med pump so they took that. My IV was annoying because every time I moved it would start beeping. Not that they minded but they did have it moved even though it did beep more not nearly as much as it had. My sister came by and my friend Tracy and Brian came back I think.
I slept through the night and at 6 am after have blood drawn at 4 and watching tv for a couple hours the doctor came in and asked me some questions and she said, I didn't want to say it ahead of time but I thought this would be less painful for you than your worst period. Errrk. That is the sound of me hitting the breaks. But surprisingly so far less painful. Now I am still getting some pain meds through my IV but I am feeling pretty good at this moment and I told her the story about the anesthesiologist and she couldn't believe that and that I remembered that and the whole Christmas Carol thing. She said I had to go to the bathroom and walk a little and I was good to go home.
By 12:30 that afternoon. Less than 24 hours after having my surgery I was on my way home and feeling good. I know Christmas and New Years they passed me by but with just some ibuprofen for pain the first few days home I think I have done really well. I know there are those of you thinking when does the other shoe drop. But today is two weeks later and I have been following the doctors instructions and taking it easy and not driving and have stayed home a lot but I am feeling pretty good. Tired at times but really pretty damn good. Not lifting anything. No pain. The doctors office called this morning and again benign results. I love this doctor of mine. I know all her patients are not like me and she is probably thankful for that. So tomorrow I am allowed to drive and take myself to the doctors office and follow up.
Knowing all is well I want to Thank all the people who have held my hand and told me things were going to be ok. If you have driven me in the last two weeks or brought me food or flowers or taken me to lunch your friendship is worth so much to me I could spend all day thanking you and to those of you who have listened to me on the phone or at work or anywhere else I could have told someone what I feared. Thanks for helping me through all of this. Even friends that had their own things going on and took their time for me. I know but these people mean the world to me and they are probably the only ones left reading. Thanks and if I can ever return the favor I would be happy to.
So as a rule I don't name names but I am making an exception today. Dr. Jennifer Hayes and her staff have hearts as big as the world. I didn't just start going to her office a few months ago when this last bout of problems started. Dr. Hayes and I have a history. I have been seeing her for more than 5 years. I have always felt that whatever she recommended was in my best interest but sometimes the fear of the unknown stood between me and my best interest. Not this time. Everything in its time and this was my time to have the surgery. Thanks Dr. Hayes and everyone in your office.
Happy New Year 2018! Here she comes that new woman.
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
What a difference a day makes.
So never posted to my blog from my phone by Lantern light. The last time I went this long without power was the "No Name storm" 1991. There were t-shirts we sold at Eckerd that said,"I survived the No Name storm and had a map with it's path across the southeast US. The person that I lived with back then and I went more than 3 days without power and after the 3rd night of coming home after 12 hour days working he called the power company and I laugh now picturing the image of him and I calling from the wall phone in our kitchen and he said not so kindly to the person on the phone that he was getting frustrated with not having power every night when we got home and just had to look up the phone number in the phone book for the blanking power company like Benjamin Franklin by candlelight. I don't remember after the power was back on like that night.
God has a funny way of shining a light on important things and sometimes he has to turn off the lights for us to see. Last week before the storm my mind was having it's own tropical depression but a few visits with a couple doctors who are worth their weight in gold and I was ready to weather the storm. I know most don't want to know how scared others were and don't want to admit to themselves how real Irma was. But the few days prior to that to me was worse. I know worse than a tree falling on the house that didn't come through and the hours of sitting on the floor in the hallway praying that the guys on the weather were right before our power went off and said the worst should pass us by midnight. As I listened to my clock chime though the sound of the wind and rain thinking we just have to hold on for another hour, ok maybe one more hour, ok may be one more. That feeling for those who have never experienced it my friend is what it feels like when a person is having a panic attack. It is not the wind and rain but the quiet moment in my head trying to say the Lord's prayer for the 50th time and forgetting the words. Trying to keep your self together when the world around you is blowing by. There are a few events in life that I felt like I at least deserve a t-shirt for getting through and for the last two weeks I deserve 2. The panic like the storm has passed and my mind is as peaceful as the weather today. I am a thankful person because those moments of anguish lead to peace and tonight my friends I can say all the words to the Lord's prayer in order and will rest for tomorrow brings new challenges to all of us. Not all of them have a name or date to be remembered by. Some are just a day in the life of me. Our Father who art in heaven...
God has a funny way of shining a light on important things and sometimes he has to turn off the lights for us to see. Last week before the storm my mind was having it's own tropical depression but a few visits with a couple doctors who are worth their weight in gold and I was ready to weather the storm. I know most don't want to know how scared others were and don't want to admit to themselves how real Irma was. But the few days prior to that to me was worse. I know worse than a tree falling on the house that didn't come through and the hours of sitting on the floor in the hallway praying that the guys on the weather were right before our power went off and said the worst should pass us by midnight. As I listened to my clock chime though the sound of the wind and rain thinking we just have to hold on for another hour, ok maybe one more hour, ok may be one more. That feeling for those who have never experienced it my friend is what it feels like when a person is having a panic attack. It is not the wind and rain but the quiet moment in my head trying to say the Lord's prayer for the 50th time and forgetting the words. Trying to keep your self together when the world around you is blowing by. There are a few events in life that I felt like I at least deserve a t-shirt for getting through and for the last two weeks I deserve 2. The panic like the storm has passed and my mind is as peaceful as the weather today. I am a thankful person because those moments of anguish lead to peace and tonight my friends I can say all the words to the Lord's prayer in order and will rest for tomorrow brings new challenges to all of us. Not all of them have a name or date to be remembered by. Some are just a day in the life of me. Our Father who art in heaven...
Saturday, September 9, 2017
Bringing back balance
I know it has been a while since I have written anything here. I think of things but not sure what to say. Well these last few days Anxiety has been high on my list of things I have been thinking about. Lots of things have been getting to me but there is this looming hurricane Irma out there slowly moving through the Straits of Florida hanging out off the coast of Cuba. Just putzing along at about 6 miles per hour. At this rate Irma isn't going to get here until Monday and right now those that forecast things like this expect that we should start to see conditions diminish tomorrow afternoon but it will be tomorrow night or early Monday morning before we get the worst of it. This is much slower than she was cruising along at earlier this week which keeps pushing out the inevitable of Irma making landfall somewhere in Florida unless she does what I want and keeps heading west. I hear Mexico is beautiful this time of the year. No, I truly don't wish her wrath on anyone and well especially not us. There is part of me that says you know we have had a good run. More than 50 years without a major hurricane hitting the Tampa Bay area so if we are due I hope we are prepared.
So with everything closed and most people hunkered down. It has given me some time to sit and think. While Princess and I were out in the back yard tonight and I thought how the wind and the sky remind me of when I was younger probably about 1980 and we had some storms that were pretty bad and people prepared for. Since we grew up on the beach we picked up the yard. Put down the storm shutters and rode out the storm and then went out to see what happened afterwards. I remember before one storm sitting out on the dock across the street from our house and watching people anchor their sailboats out in the bay to protect them from hitting into the seawall or dock and some even riding storms out on a boat. My brother did a few times on the fishing boat he worked on. Him and the owner's son spent the night on the boat and let out the lines as the tide rose and kept the boat from hitting into the dock.
Even back then I was always thinking about how things work and that how hurricanes are just Mother Nature's way of bringing balance back to the warm waters of the Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico. The hurricane gets it's energy from the warm water and as it reaches cooler water it looses strength. If the water didn't cool off then neither would the air and it would just be hot year round and algae blooms like Red Tide would just get worse each year. As strange as it seems we need the hurricanes. Tonight I was thinking how the storm brings a balance back to nature and maybe that includes us. The human beings of the world that have to control everything are reminded that we have minimal control of anything. One of the thoughts I had was about how anxious I have been lately worrying about things I can't control and worrying that I can't control them. So I said a little prayer tonight to Mother Nature that she does have control and that I am prepared to ride out the storm and will do it knowing that maybe she is bringing balance back to me as well as the water temperature in the Gulf.
Surprisingly I felt better afterwards and thought it may be so. Maybe we all need the barometric pressure to drop and the wind and rain to remind us that family and friends are important and everything else can be replaced. To all my friends and family that are hunkered down at home I am praying that all of us come through this experience a little more balanced and that we all remember the things that are important are not things at all. Amen.
So with everything closed and most people hunkered down. It has given me some time to sit and think. While Princess and I were out in the back yard tonight and I thought how the wind and the sky remind me of when I was younger probably about 1980 and we had some storms that were pretty bad and people prepared for. Since we grew up on the beach we picked up the yard. Put down the storm shutters and rode out the storm and then went out to see what happened afterwards. I remember before one storm sitting out on the dock across the street from our house and watching people anchor their sailboats out in the bay to protect them from hitting into the seawall or dock and some even riding storms out on a boat. My brother did a few times on the fishing boat he worked on. Him and the owner's son spent the night on the boat and let out the lines as the tide rose and kept the boat from hitting into the dock.
Even back then I was always thinking about how things work and that how hurricanes are just Mother Nature's way of bringing balance back to the warm waters of the Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico. The hurricane gets it's energy from the warm water and as it reaches cooler water it looses strength. If the water didn't cool off then neither would the air and it would just be hot year round and algae blooms like Red Tide would just get worse each year. As strange as it seems we need the hurricanes. Tonight I was thinking how the storm brings a balance back to nature and maybe that includes us. The human beings of the world that have to control everything are reminded that we have minimal control of anything. One of the thoughts I had was about how anxious I have been lately worrying about things I can't control and worrying that I can't control them. So I said a little prayer tonight to Mother Nature that she does have control and that I am prepared to ride out the storm and will do it knowing that maybe she is bringing balance back to me as well as the water temperature in the Gulf.
Surprisingly I felt better afterwards and thought it may be so. Maybe we all need the barometric pressure to drop and the wind and rain to remind us that family and friends are important and everything else can be replaced. To all my friends and family that are hunkered down at home I am praying that all of us come through this experience a little more balanced and that we all remember the things that are important are not things at all. Amen.
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Loyalty Anyone?
I was at the bank last week and at the end of my transaction the teller said to me,"You have been a customer here for 25 years. Thanks for your loyalty." I thought that was funny because I have had the same acct number for the last 25 years but I haven't had the same bank for 25 years. The bank I think has changed names at least 3 times. Which in this day an age is probably not a lot. Then I started thinking about other things that I have done the same for a long time. I mean the cell phone company we use can't believe we have been customers for 18 years. But again, we have had the same acct but the company has changed 3 times. All of this seems ordinary for me to have been doing things the same way for a long time but I guess to others it isn't the norm.
Even talking to a Financial Adviser about refinancing my house I only assumed that I would refinance with the same company that our home has been financed with for the last 13 years. He recommended shopping around. I understand I could possibly get a better price but the thing is I am used to the level of service I get now. That might change and I don't want to change just to save a few percentage points, do I? Then I thought would this person recommend me shopping around for a new adviser? Probably not.
My first full time job I worked for the same company for over 20 years. I worked many different jobs within the company and would still be there if it wasn't for a buy out and the corporate office moving out of state. I have joked that no one ever told me I was supposed to quit my first job. So I waited for them to quit me. I am sure the company I work for now like every other one I have ever worked for I will not leave til they quit me which should make many happy. And I am sure the company I work for wouldn't recommend you shopping around for a new cable provider. I am sure my insurance agent of God knows how many years who worked with my mom and grandmother wouldn't want me to change either.
Yet for some reason now a days people change cell phone carriers every other year and jobs just as often. One thing I learned when I was about 20 years old from one of my best friends who was quit by his first job and had to start over with another company was that the grass is not greener on the other side. It is merely the angle which you are looking at the grass I believe that makes it appear greener. So why do people change things so often?
I have had the same best friend more than half of my life and I am not looking for best friend 2.0 or husband 2.0 as Brian likes to joke. I am happy with the same friend and same husband I have always had.
So I looked up the definition of Loyalty: faithfulness to commitment or obligation, the quality or state or instance of being loyal.
Well this is definitely me. I am committed to my obligations and faithful to a fault. Til death do us part is not just words I said in front of a bunch of people to Brian almost 20 years ago. I mean them as much today as I did then. But I would also say that even if you are a friend of mine and we never stood in front of our friends and family and pledged allegiance to each other I extend the same to you. I will not quit you until you have quit me.
I don't know if everyone in the world is as lucky as I to have worked for the same company for so long but in those 20 years I worked for the same company I made lots of friends that also worked for that company for a long time. There was a group we called the "Lunch Bunch" that ate lunch together every day for maybe 10 years and even now 12 years since the last time we worked together we still try to get together a few times a year and have a meal and talk about what is new.
I am not sure if it was nature or nurture that caused me to be so loyal. But for people that have lots of new things and new friends don't you sometimes want someone that shared the old times with to talk to. Someone that knows your story that knows the ups and the downs of your life and you know theirs to share time with. To laugh and cry about the things that were done years ago but to go and have new adventures with. So while you are in some new place doing some new thing you remind each other of some time years ago that you did something similar but yet the experience is different today. It is different because you had that experience years ago. You knew what to now expect. Isn't that what I said in the beginning about why I was loyal. I know what to expect.
Hmm. I am happy with the friends I have and the family God gave me and the job I have. I may cry about all of them and whine about some of them but I know what to expect and the same goes for the companies I have done business with for years. You know me and I know you and well until you change I am not going to change either.
Even talking to a Financial Adviser about refinancing my house I only assumed that I would refinance with the same company that our home has been financed with for the last 13 years. He recommended shopping around. I understand I could possibly get a better price but the thing is I am used to the level of service I get now. That might change and I don't want to change just to save a few percentage points, do I? Then I thought would this person recommend me shopping around for a new adviser? Probably not.
My first full time job I worked for the same company for over 20 years. I worked many different jobs within the company and would still be there if it wasn't for a buy out and the corporate office moving out of state. I have joked that no one ever told me I was supposed to quit my first job. So I waited for them to quit me. I am sure the company I work for now like every other one I have ever worked for I will not leave til they quit me which should make many happy. And I am sure the company I work for wouldn't recommend you shopping around for a new cable provider. I am sure my insurance agent of God knows how many years who worked with my mom and grandmother wouldn't want me to change either.
Yet for some reason now a days people change cell phone carriers every other year and jobs just as often. One thing I learned when I was about 20 years old from one of my best friends who was quit by his first job and had to start over with another company was that the grass is not greener on the other side. It is merely the angle which you are looking at the grass I believe that makes it appear greener. So why do people change things so often?
I have had the same best friend more than half of my life and I am not looking for best friend 2.0 or husband 2.0 as Brian likes to joke. I am happy with the same friend and same husband I have always had.
So I looked up the definition of Loyalty: faithfulness to commitment or obligation, the quality or state or instance of being loyal.
Well this is definitely me. I am committed to my obligations and faithful to a fault. Til death do us part is not just words I said in front of a bunch of people to Brian almost 20 years ago. I mean them as much today as I did then. But I would also say that even if you are a friend of mine and we never stood in front of our friends and family and pledged allegiance to each other I extend the same to you. I will not quit you until you have quit me.
I don't know if everyone in the world is as lucky as I to have worked for the same company for so long but in those 20 years I worked for the same company I made lots of friends that also worked for that company for a long time. There was a group we called the "Lunch Bunch" that ate lunch together every day for maybe 10 years and even now 12 years since the last time we worked together we still try to get together a few times a year and have a meal and talk about what is new.
I am not sure if it was nature or nurture that caused me to be so loyal. But for people that have lots of new things and new friends don't you sometimes want someone that shared the old times with to talk to. Someone that knows your story that knows the ups and the downs of your life and you know theirs to share time with. To laugh and cry about the things that were done years ago but to go and have new adventures with. So while you are in some new place doing some new thing you remind each other of some time years ago that you did something similar but yet the experience is different today. It is different because you had that experience years ago. You knew what to now expect. Isn't that what I said in the beginning about why I was loyal. I know what to expect.
Hmm. I am happy with the friends I have and the family God gave me and the job I have. I may cry about all of them and whine about some of them but I know what to expect and the same goes for the companies I have done business with for years. You know me and I know you and well until you change I am not going to change either.
Monday, June 12, 2017
The Home Version
Today I am writing the home version of Before the hot water runs out. One of my favorite posts ever about how my brain never shuts down and the crazy places it can go in the time it takes me to take a shower.
Tomorrow was to be the day that my brother closed on mom's house but as things go it happened a few days early. And I didn't know until it was over that it was done. I was sad. Felt like that last trip down to the house by myself to clean the pool was ripped away. I know no one cries over not getting to clean the pool. I have been doing it for about 20 years. But I have added checking the mail and taking out the trash or pulling back the trash cans in the last 5 months since the house has been empty and for the most part the others had stopped going. Last week I had picked up the chlorine jugs to return to the pool supply store and didn't do it basically because it was too sad of a thing to do. So this week I thought it was crazy to be sad over such a thing and returned the jugs and cried. Yes, I cried while returning the chlorine jugs to the pool supply store. Through the years of me taking mom and grandma out on their Friday outings to when it was just me and mom and for this last year it has been me by myself. The guy was very nice as he has always been. He said, "it has been a pleasure to serve you and your family all these years and if you ever have a pool..."
So as I showered today I was thinking: Well, I don't think we could have a pool because of the way our back yard is. It would cost a fortune, there is no access except the gate we walk through and there is a huge oak tree that would hang over the pool if it survived the pool being built. But as long as we have lived in this house I have wished to buy the house next door and tear it down and build an addition to our house it would like our house have big windows and bright rooms and clay tile floors and yes out back have a pool. The house has even been foreclosed on in the time we have lived here but it was not a time that we could have bought it.
While I was thinking all these thoughts and a quote from the end of a movie came to mind. I knew it was one of my favorite movies. My first guess was wrong but after I thought again I knew it was from Hope Floats: Beginnings are usually scary, endings are usually sad, but it is what's in the middle that counts. So when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will."
And today I find myself again at a new beginning and at the same time at an end of a very long run so yes, I am sad. My youngest sister went down to the house for the one last visit and took some pictures which we have all the way. Pictures of how it was and how it is. I wanted one last family picture but it wasn't meant to be. Maybe not as sad as I thought I would be. Which may be a good thing. My heart has accepted what I knew had to come. I always think of a quote from American Pickers, " I just want to buy the piece, not your memories." Because the value you put on something you find to be sentimental is way more than the value of the object. Somethings are never going to be for sale and others will with time be able to be parted with. I have learned through this process that sometimes the person buying the object wants the memories as well but just to know them not to take them and appreciates the love you have for the person that owned the object before them.
The last thing I wanted to do was leave a note for the people buying the house. Again my sister said, she did leave a note stuck to the refrigerator. Just something short saying a really great family lived here and hope you enjoy the house as much as they did.
So here is my letter to the family that now owns the house that I called home for most of my life and then I referred to it as mom's house. I will miss that house but I will always have the memories.
Dear Family,
I hope you have a big family enough to fill all the bedrooms of this house with love and laughter. They don't have to be young children but if they are make sure they get outside and play. There are so many things to see and learn on this beach. They may have to look a little harder with all the condo's and hotels and beach umbrellas but they are still there. The sand and the shells are full of live creatures that are begging to be found. The water at the beach is best in the early morning or in the evening before the sun sets. Usually pretty calm at those times and not as many people out. When the water is calm and the tide is low you can get out to the sand bar and find sand dollars and see other things along the bottom. Maybe even some fish. Be sure to shuffle your feet there are sting rays out there and no one wants a day at the beach spoiled by that. Whatever you do find if it is still alive let it live unless you plan on eating it. The shells are pretty but there are plenty that aren't housing live creatures that you can take home.
We always had a small sail boat another must have on the beach. Once you have explored everything within walking distance you can go further north past the end of the houses and there is lots more to find. A lot less people. The small islands in the bay are called spoils created by the water moving the sand around. Be careful of the weather in the summer a storm can come up out of no where and it will probably pass just as fast but you need to be prepared.
As for at home. The pool has been a great addition even though we never had that luxury as a kid we had to cut the grass where all that concrete lays now. We also had a garden back there. Back under the tree. Mom loved that Spanish Laurel Tree. It drops berries that smell as they ferment but the birds love them so they will take care of most. Don't let them lie at the bottom of the pool. It will stain it. If you get back under that tree and clean out all the over growth don't dig to deep. That was our pet cemetery it was used for the rabbits and birds we had as kids and for some of the cats I had as an adult. They were all great animals and were placed there with love and some even with pictures.
Inside, mom always had a chair in the kitchen so whomever was over could sit with her while she cooked or as she got older so she could sit with whomever was cooking for her. It was always nice hanging out in there. The dining room leads right into the living room to the fire place so you can easily seat 25 or so people for a big family meal if you have enough folding tables and chairs. Mom always kept the folding tables and chairs in the front closet so they were easy to get to. You never knew when there would be extra people for dinner.
Speaking of extra people. For years the house had an open door policy. Pretty much the door was always open and after we added the pool and there was no door bell on the back door you would just walk in and holler, "hey mom are you in here". If not in the house she would have been outside working in the yard pulling weeds. Be careful you may consider some of the things weeds that she considered to be plants. A weed is just a plant growing where you don't want it. But the yellow flowers that open during the day and grow wild in the yard are called Cuban Buttercups. They grow great where they want but we never had much luck with moving them. The succulent plant under the oak tree in the front yard is referred to as Al's plant. He brought home a little pot of it in maybe 4th grade and it took over out there over the years. mom liked that it was less grass to cut but then more weeds to pull. Under that front window is a row of rain lillys. Those were always mom's favorite. We even have some planted for her at the cemetery. There is also the wild periwinkles again they grow great where they want but don't if moved and the hibiscus near the front door. Mr and Mrs Lindsey planted that for mom oh so many years ago. They were the sweetest people in the world and when you see those beautiful yellow flowers remember the ones that planted it and the lady that loved it all these years.
I know the house needs a coat of paint and a little work but one thing you will never take away is all the love that was in that house. Love for a family and love for the house itself and like everything sometimes you have to let one thing go to take care of something else. So add the coat of paint and some fancy appliances and fill them with food because that house will fill itself with people to eat the food and enjoy the house and the yard and the pool and fill itself with love and laughter again.
Love, Jeanne
Tomorrow was to be the day that my brother closed on mom's house but as things go it happened a few days early. And I didn't know until it was over that it was done. I was sad. Felt like that last trip down to the house by myself to clean the pool was ripped away. I know no one cries over not getting to clean the pool. I have been doing it for about 20 years. But I have added checking the mail and taking out the trash or pulling back the trash cans in the last 5 months since the house has been empty and for the most part the others had stopped going. Last week I had picked up the chlorine jugs to return to the pool supply store and didn't do it basically because it was too sad of a thing to do. So this week I thought it was crazy to be sad over such a thing and returned the jugs and cried. Yes, I cried while returning the chlorine jugs to the pool supply store. Through the years of me taking mom and grandma out on their Friday outings to when it was just me and mom and for this last year it has been me by myself. The guy was very nice as he has always been. He said, "it has been a pleasure to serve you and your family all these years and if you ever have a pool..."
So as I showered today I was thinking: Well, I don't think we could have a pool because of the way our back yard is. It would cost a fortune, there is no access except the gate we walk through and there is a huge oak tree that would hang over the pool if it survived the pool being built. But as long as we have lived in this house I have wished to buy the house next door and tear it down and build an addition to our house it would like our house have big windows and bright rooms and clay tile floors and yes out back have a pool. The house has even been foreclosed on in the time we have lived here but it was not a time that we could have bought it.
While I was thinking all these thoughts and a quote from the end of a movie came to mind. I knew it was one of my favorite movies. My first guess was wrong but after I thought again I knew it was from Hope Floats: Beginnings are usually scary, endings are usually sad, but it is what's in the middle that counts. So when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will."
And today I find myself again at a new beginning and at the same time at an end of a very long run so yes, I am sad. My youngest sister went down to the house for the one last visit and took some pictures which we have all the way. Pictures of how it was and how it is. I wanted one last family picture but it wasn't meant to be. Maybe not as sad as I thought I would be. Which may be a good thing. My heart has accepted what I knew had to come. I always think of a quote from American Pickers, " I just want to buy the piece, not your memories." Because the value you put on something you find to be sentimental is way more than the value of the object. Somethings are never going to be for sale and others will with time be able to be parted with. I have learned through this process that sometimes the person buying the object wants the memories as well but just to know them not to take them and appreciates the love you have for the person that owned the object before them.
The last thing I wanted to do was leave a note for the people buying the house. Again my sister said, she did leave a note stuck to the refrigerator. Just something short saying a really great family lived here and hope you enjoy the house as much as they did.
So here is my letter to the family that now owns the house that I called home for most of my life and then I referred to it as mom's house. I will miss that house but I will always have the memories.
Dear Family,
I hope you have a big family enough to fill all the bedrooms of this house with love and laughter. They don't have to be young children but if they are make sure they get outside and play. There are so many things to see and learn on this beach. They may have to look a little harder with all the condo's and hotels and beach umbrellas but they are still there. The sand and the shells are full of live creatures that are begging to be found. The water at the beach is best in the early morning or in the evening before the sun sets. Usually pretty calm at those times and not as many people out. When the water is calm and the tide is low you can get out to the sand bar and find sand dollars and see other things along the bottom. Maybe even some fish. Be sure to shuffle your feet there are sting rays out there and no one wants a day at the beach spoiled by that. Whatever you do find if it is still alive let it live unless you plan on eating it. The shells are pretty but there are plenty that aren't housing live creatures that you can take home.
We always had a small sail boat another must have on the beach. Once you have explored everything within walking distance you can go further north past the end of the houses and there is lots more to find. A lot less people. The small islands in the bay are called spoils created by the water moving the sand around. Be careful of the weather in the summer a storm can come up out of no where and it will probably pass just as fast but you need to be prepared.
As for at home. The pool has been a great addition even though we never had that luxury as a kid we had to cut the grass where all that concrete lays now. We also had a garden back there. Back under the tree. Mom loved that Spanish Laurel Tree. It drops berries that smell as they ferment but the birds love them so they will take care of most. Don't let them lie at the bottom of the pool. It will stain it. If you get back under that tree and clean out all the over growth don't dig to deep. That was our pet cemetery it was used for the rabbits and birds we had as kids and for some of the cats I had as an adult. They were all great animals and were placed there with love and some even with pictures.
Inside, mom always had a chair in the kitchen so whomever was over could sit with her while she cooked or as she got older so she could sit with whomever was cooking for her. It was always nice hanging out in there. The dining room leads right into the living room to the fire place so you can easily seat 25 or so people for a big family meal if you have enough folding tables and chairs. Mom always kept the folding tables and chairs in the front closet so they were easy to get to. You never knew when there would be extra people for dinner.
Speaking of extra people. For years the house had an open door policy. Pretty much the door was always open and after we added the pool and there was no door bell on the back door you would just walk in and holler, "hey mom are you in here". If not in the house she would have been outside working in the yard pulling weeds. Be careful you may consider some of the things weeds that she considered to be plants. A weed is just a plant growing where you don't want it. But the yellow flowers that open during the day and grow wild in the yard are called Cuban Buttercups. They grow great where they want but we never had much luck with moving them. The succulent plant under the oak tree in the front yard is referred to as Al's plant. He brought home a little pot of it in maybe 4th grade and it took over out there over the years. mom liked that it was less grass to cut but then more weeds to pull. Under that front window is a row of rain lillys. Those were always mom's favorite. We even have some planted for her at the cemetery. There is also the wild periwinkles again they grow great where they want but don't if moved and the hibiscus near the front door. Mr and Mrs Lindsey planted that for mom oh so many years ago. They were the sweetest people in the world and when you see those beautiful yellow flowers remember the ones that planted it and the lady that loved it all these years.I know the house needs a coat of paint and a little work but one thing you will never take away is all the love that was in that house. Love for a family and love for the house itself and like everything sometimes you have to let one thing go to take care of something else. So add the coat of paint and some fancy appliances and fill them with food because that house will fill itself with people to eat the food and enjoy the house and the yard and the pool and fill itself with love and laughter again.
Love, Jeanne
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