What do I want for my birthday?

September is right around the corner and that means one of the hardest questions of the year will be asked of me and I will not answer well, because well is me.
My birthday is this month and since I am not a jewelry person or a music person or movie person I don't collect anything I never know what I want for gift. Not for any holiday throughout the year.  There are things I would like but none are within my means that I would want someone else to pick. I love books but I love going to the book store and choosing. Not someone standing over me tapping their toe waiting for me to make the perfect selection in 15 minutes. It doesn't work that way.

So if money was no option what would I want. A sail boat about 25 ft long goes for well I am surprised anywhere from maybe $3,000 to $15,000 or more of course.  Big enough to take overnight trips but not to big that I would need help sailing. But then you need a place to store it and a trailer and a vehicle that can tow it or a slip and that is expensive. See how that could get very expensive. Another wish of mine would be for an old Mustang something between 65-67 maybe a fast back. Or I even saw a company out of Lakeland that makes new Mustangs that look old. Only $125,000. So you see my taste is not cheap.

Today while we were at the movies seeing Mission Impossible Rogue Nation, I thought I wonder what Tom Cruise got paid for this movie? What would I do with that kind of money. Hmm. I looked it up in the car. Tom made $25,000,000 for the movie. That is crazy money. Well crazy for me. So I thought if I had $25,000,000 what would I do with it. I mean maybe Tom would realize that I have been a good fan and I have seen quite a few movies(just counted 18 of 38 listed) and my share must add up to something. Well I just did the math and drum roll...$288 well I guess that is not that much that I have spent. So I won't be surprised that Tom isn't going to give me $25,000,000 either.

But since I can have anything let us just say he did. Here is how I would spend it. This is a blog not a legal binding document. If your name is mentioned I do not have said money and probably never will but in my dream land here is what I would do with it.

Family first. My mother would like to live another 20 years which with her health may or may not be a reasonable expectation but in this world it is. So let us just give her $500,000 to keep her comfortable in the house she has which she wouldn't trade for the world. I would give my brother and sisters and father the same. So that is $2,500,000 more. Brian is mad because I have given money away before I have done anything for us. So Brian can have a new car and motorcycle $65,000. Brian would like a pool but our yard does not really fit a pool so I have always wanted to buy the house next to mine and tear it down and put a pool and build an addition on to our house. with a reading room that I could write in and be inspired by wonderful books around me some beautiful rich wood cabinets a nice kitchen, patio and a few spare bedrooms to have room for sleepovers with my nieces and nephew before they are grown. $350,000. Man it goes fast with good taste.

Speaking of my nieces and nephews I would set them up with some money here we go another $2,500,000.
So we have taken care of the family and I am already seeing my bank account dropping quick but the money is really only the means to the end which is taking care of everyone. So far I am almost $6,000,000 in. Brian's family we would give the same amount which would be $3,000,000. We have a couple friends that I would give probably a total $500,000 and we are good. I have as well a few favorite charities that I would give to but nothing crazy because I would rather help a lot a little that give it all to one. And I need to live off of the rest you know. I would want Brian and I to be able to travel and live a comfortable life so lets say we would have to live for the next 50 years off of $5,000,000. So now I am up to almost 15 of my $25,000,000. I now see why Tom has to keep making movies. I don't own a jet or a chateau or a vineyard. I would like to visit Rome and Monaco but don't need a house there. I would like to go on cruises in the Caribbean and in Tahiti but don't need a yacht. I would like new things but nothing outrageous. I would want to well obviously have to keep my head about me that money since it is going fast.

So what is left a good life with my family to be able to share the bounty that I have been given. Be it $25,000,000 or more likely the estimated 1.2 million Brian and I will earn over the next 20 years of our lives and then retire and hope that our earnings will last us the rest of our happy lives together.

See what I see when I read this whole thing. There are only 3 things that I listed that I want. Everything else would be to share and enjoy with others. I want to be happy and I would love to have a boat and teach the kids to sail and a really cool car to teach them to drive in but if I can't have a cool car I will teach them in my Sebring and I will rent a boat for an afternoon so I can teach them to sail. If I can't go on a cruise with them all maybe we can go to dinner at a nice restaurant and if we can't go to Rome, Italy maybe Rome, Georgia or Paris, Texas. So I do know that after the lemon cake I shared last night with my friend Tracy and her daughter and grandson I do know what kind of cake I would like and we can afford that.

 I just read what I have written so far to Brian and it has brought tears to my eyes but you know he rattled off that I forgot about his man cave that would be somewhere near my library with a big screen tv with recliner seats theater quality sound and arcade games and whatever other cool gadgets he can dream up. See the I have no problem finding a gift for him. So good luck babe with my birthday gift. Good thing in my mind it is still better to give than receive.

City Hall for a Day

So as with everything in life it is ever changing. Tonight's post is difficult to write. Not because I do not have something to say but because I have to be very careful. I always read past posts before I start one. Sometimes it sets a mood or the mood is already there and I just want to put myself in the right place.

Well tonight I went to my other blog that I write, Day One. I read my first and last post. First was my poem For the Love of Lilly, posted three years ago this month. The second was called Soup of the Day. Which is funny to me because it was not about soup or grilled cheese and looking back no one that reads it now would know the exact subject I wrote about mainly because the world moves on so fast now. What made half the country furious a few months ago is old news now. So just like the rest of the world my life has gone on. 

Tonight's entry ties to both. I can not say exactly how because I do not want to commit to a subject because what makes us furious today will be gone tomorrow. And I do not need a written reminder of what it was that was making my world upside down. 

I have not written since right after my High School Reunion and there is only one reason. I have been busy. I have applied for a Lead position at work. Not sure how that will go but I do think I can do the job. Other stuff going on that is making me busy but again not really ready to say the words out loud. It is funny when I started writing I explained this is a totally selfish endeavour. It still is but with more readers comes more responsibility to others. Not that I care if one person or 12 people read my silly blog it is still to get what is in my head out and help me get a good nights sleep without offending or hurting anyone else.

Sleep that is when you close your eyes and put your head on the pillow? Right? Eight hours later you wake refreshed? I think I remember but not really sure. 

So today I saw my nephew get an award from the City for his Leadership qualities he has shown at camp this summer. Each camp got to choose kids from each age group that showed different qualities to the other campers: teamwork, leadership, kindness, compassion, integrity to name a few. Each camp sent their kids to City Hall and they got to meet the mayor. The mayor had them sit in the seats of the commissioners and city attorney and city manager and of course one kid got to be the mayor for a few minutes. Well at least sit in the chair and use the gavel to call the meeting to order and to call on their fellow campers to read off their quality and how it applied to them. I found one thing very interesting. Kindness always went to the youngest, most adorable kid in camp. Well I am not sure about the entire camp but of the kids selected to come they were the sweetest thing going. The little boy that could not say his name out loud that the Center manager came behind and said his name and his quality and why. No one needed to know why the kid was precious. That and the fact that the teamwork camper seemed to be the one to be mayor and the leadership kid was a little more outspoken than the others. 

For each group of campers the mayor would pick a quality and speak about it based on what the child had said. He elaborated on teamwork and leadership and how sometimes to be in charge he does not do what some people think is right but he does what he feels is best for the whole city based on the information he is provided by his team of employees and council members. 

So when you get the team together and they don't agree they start to argue. And even as mayor he may not think the answer is the right answer but if you only have so many choices he would have to pick the choice that is best for today with the information he has been given. So just like in life all the choices are not simple I mean there are pluses and minuses to both the red and the blue pill (for you Matrix fans).Take the red pill and go back to life as it was or see what is behind door number 2 (Oh no that is a different show all together). Ok so you take the blue pill and who knows what will happen. Well really either way there is no way to know for sure what is going to happen. Life is not a movie or a game show. There is no door number 2. There is no do over. Just keep moving forward with the information in front of you and try to choose wisely. I have played the mayor in life. Many times. Some think the best way to solve a problem is with a hammer or a big stick. Others think a voice of reason should be heard by all. Some are not going to stick around to see what is going to be done. But to make sure that they are heard they will go to the meeting speak their piece and bail. Have I lost you or are you catching on. See that is the question for me as well. 

The options I speak of are not for me. I am the farmer with the field that needs to be plowed and that is the only way to feed my family. And if it is only going to stop raining in the middle of the night I just have to turn the truck lights on and plow my field in the dark. So here I sit just after midnight trying to decide if I plow on left to right or right to left. I have seen both have similar results but some swear by one method and not the other. Thought we were talking about City Hall now I am talking about Farming. Well I watched a farming movie tonight. You know what a key ingredient to farming and City Hall? A lot of BS. Look I am so tired I am making jokes. 

We are not talking about Red Pills or Blue Pills or Farming. We are not talking about City Hall. Since I can not say what we are talking about I will say that a lot of bright people can come together in the same room and discuss the same subject and when they all leave no decision had been made. I think this is why the President is but one man or may I say one day one woman. He or she has a council of very smart people that they can consult with but in the end the decision to sign the bill or veto is his or hers. Well unless some big pharmaceutical company has a hand in the pot or a farming conglomerate that wants to wipe out all the family farms and it is an election year. Well no one has offered me fame or fortune and I am not up for re-election but I am going to continue with the decision I have made after consulting my council. The choice is not easy I think that is what the rest of the counsil may not understand. The choices are not easy. They never are.But in the best interest of well, well I can not say but I will do as I always... What I feel is best.

Still making memories after all these years.

So it is 3 Am or 3'oclock in the morning and it looks like it is going to be another sleepless night... Two great songs that are what it is. 3 o'clock in the morning. Can't sleep. Thinking about what was and what has come of it. I know, Get to the point Jeanne. So I did go to my 30th High School Reunion. Anyone out there planning a reunion and really just want to talk and have a nice time take note. That does not take formal clothes and high priced rubber chicken. A few chicken wings and beers and a bunch of people that grew up in Clearwater looking over Clearwater Beach and remembering when... When we were young, or pretty or popular or not. When the beach was what it was and not what it is and how we were all glad that we grew up in the time that Crystal Palace and the skate shop were game rooms (arcades)  and were places that kids congregated. We remembered the Howard Johnson's restaurant and the Memorial Civic Center and how many of us worked for Eckerd. Part-time, Full time, or Lifers like me. But even that has changed.

Band kids that have not picked up an instrument since band but still treasure every moment of playing and marching and all the friends along the way. I would like to make a quick shout out to my friend Jerry. A friend from elementary school. I just caught a glimpse of his name tag and I was so happy to see him. I wanted to tell him yes, I still have your trumpet and if you want it back swing by the house. We laughed. He had just been telling the people he was with that he never knew what happened to his old trumpet. Well I have been saving it. Not feeling right to get rid of it. It was not mine. But not knowing whatever happened to him to give it back. Now it is clear. I can do with it as I please. I think I will pass it on to an aspiring musician that doesn't know the trumpet might inspire him. I really think that seeing Jerry turned things around for the night for me. Made me realize the memories I have are shared. Not exactly the same memories. I had the trumpet and knew it and he didn't know what happened to it.

Another guy from band Bill, I remembered that I annoyed him. I have been carrying that for 30 years guess what. He wasn't annoyed by me. I am officially letting it go. So in some ways therapeutic that I went.

Friday night I mostly spoke to people I know. Brian and Kim and her husband. Mary and Mike beach kids. There is always that person that remembers me that I thought how could the coolest guy in high school remember me and was glad to see me. Yes. He was. And if you think it was you and you talked to me maybe you were the coolest guy in school. Or maybe that is just me remembering high school the way I remember high school. Still feeling like for the most part the people I spoke to were people I still speak to and not sure I really needed to go Saturday. But I was hoarse when I got home and glad to tell my mom about the beach kids I saw and they all said to tell my brother hello.

But Saturday night was really it for me I thought what the heck Brian and I don't get out much. But like I said Jerry turned things around. I stuck my neck out and said hello to people that I was not sure that they would know who I was but they did. People spoke to me that I was not sure I remembered. My favorite set of twins Peter and David again another pair that go all the way back to elementary school. What surprises me the most is how many of us still live around here and I never see them or run into them at the grocery store.

I spoke to people from the neighborhood I lived in when I was little. Just a mile from where we live now. And we all reminisced about remember where this one lived or that one. And if you remember that one do you remember this one. Whatever happened to them? People that rode the school bus together or were in middle school together. Or toilet papered houses together or whatever we did. It was in good fun. Cleaned up plenty of toilet paper as well.

There were people I miss that were not there. People I asked about that no one seemed to know about. My dear friend Jane. Man I miss her. I have so many fun memories. I told someone about us making perogies or going to Mister Submarine and getting my still all time favorite sandwich a Roast beef with everything that we would split at all ours of the night. She was a Pepsi girl all the way back then. If you are reading this and know her tell her I say hi. And think of all our fun often.

I wish I could name everyone it was great to see. But if I do I will forget someone and I don't want to do that so I am going to say I am so glad I spoke to all of you. My voice was so hoarse on Sunday at work and Monday. But it will recover. And now you all know that we live between Caponga's and Dairy Kurl and if you want pizza or ice cream don't hesitate to stop by we will be glad to go.

Hope it doesn't take another 20 years before we get together again.

30 Years Later

So I am not sure where time goes.  One day I was young and would never grow up and the next day I have gray hair and need glasses to read. Where did all the days in between go.There were weddings and funerals. Babies were born and birthday parties.We bought a house and moved. But that was just a few of all these days that have past by. I just calculated 10,950 days give or take since high school. All but a year of all those days I have worked. So a little college a lot of working and a lot of being married. It is all good. So as I look back and wish for the things I missed but I am happy for the things I have. But honestly how could it be 30 years.

I find it funny in the last few weeks people I haven't seen or heard from in years have requested to be my friend on Facebook. I guess with the reunion coming up they see my name and think man I wonder what she has been up to. The funny thing is some of us still live right here in Clearwater. One just yesterday. Katie. Katie and I went to school with her from Skycrest Elementary School, Kennedy Middle School and Clearwater High School. We went to the same church. I have seen her at that same church since. I remember her son was an alter boy and very faithful young man and how she was very proud of him as I am sure she is of all her kids. Not sure how many she has. We grew up in that church had our first communion and our confirmation together. But somehow lost touch. I have been an off again on again church goer for a long time. But not to single her out there is Brian from elementary school as well and Carrie. There are so many from band in high school. Nancy and Linda and Peggy and Mike and Tom and Kim... I know there are some that are no longer with us. I just really don't know where all the days went.

I attended our 10 year reunion and felt out of place. Some people recognized me but said my name wrong. So you are reading my name tag but my face it is familiar. I did not go to the 20 or 25 what ever they had. I thought why go. I am not one to have something to gloat about. I am not a Dr. I have not discovered a cure for cancer or have I walked on the moon. Just a lot of back and forth to and from work. Putting in the hours and the days that are my life. Now it has only been in the last few days that I thought well what the heck. Why not go. This is not one of those reunions like the 10 year that was very expensive. And just maybe this will be fun.

I must say I am nervous. Maybe I will not be recognized and maybe no one will know my name. I don't know am I as unremarkable as I make myself out to be? But I think Friday night Brian and I will go out and have a nice time and visit with some people I have not seen in years and hope that maybe some old friends will become new friends again. Saturday night well that all depends on how Friday night goes. I will let you know how things work out but for those of you that are not as old as me and are wondering when you will be old enough don't blink or you will miss it.

Happy 30th Reunion to the Clearwater High Class of 1985

Graduation Stadium

So this week was Clearwater High School's Graduation. It was at Brighthouse Field which is not far from the office I work at. From our windows we could see the fireworks they had at the end of the ceremony. Amazing. Fireworks for a graduation. Back in my day we were happy it didn't rain. No fireworks. It seems crazy because back in my day was 30 years ago. And this summer is my classes 30 year reunion from Clearwater High School. 30 years. 30 years ago I was only 17 when I graduated. I heard the speeches about how we had our whole lives ahead of us. We sang "We are the World" during our graduation swaying back and forth in front of our parents and friends. Not sure where all those years went.

My class graduated as all the classes before that I can remember at Jack White Stadium at Clearwater High School. I guess once the new bigger stadium was built in the early 2000's was when graduation was moved. But I have wondered most of my life who was Jack White. Did he go to Clearwater High. Was he a football player or principal? Well ironically in this summer of my 30th Reunion I found out who Jack White was while doing some local genealogy research.

Jack White neither attended Clearwater High nor worked there. He was actually a county judge born in 1898 in Jackson, Tennessee. He attended the University in Colorado Springs,Co and Jackson, TN and earned his Teaching Certificate. After serving as a Marine in World War I, Jack attended the University of Virginia Law School and graduated in 1922. He was married and moved to Florida in the 1920's during the land boom. Jack White was a major player in getting the stadium built at the new Clearwater High School that his 3 sons attended.Clearwater High moved to it's current location on Hercules Ave and Gulf to Bay Blvd in 1954. As the building was being built the idea was proposed to have a stadium built at the High School. The stadium was completed in 1950 and a few football games were played there that season but at that time the stadium was called Central Pinellas Stadium. It was not until 1963 that the Judge finally gave in and agreed to have the stadium named after him for all of his work organizing the imitative to have the stadium built. "He was committed to the community and believed strongly in youth sports as a character building.", From A Life of Service Jack F. White. Jack passed away in 1965.

As  amazing as that is over 50 years of football games and track meets and band competitions as well as pep rallies and home coming parades and graduations had all been held for Clearwater High at Jack White Stadium. I only attended Clearwater High for 4 years between 1981 and 1985.  But I remember as a young child being able to hear the band playing in the stadium on Friday nights just as I can today from my house. I lived about a mile or so south of the high school when I was young and I now live about a mile west of the high school. I attended every Varsity football game and even a years worth of Junior Varsity games while my brother played. I attended stadium band practices at least twice a week. One night practice a week during football season and a walk through on Friday afternoon after school. Marched in numerous band competitions and I attended all graduations while I was in high school. The band always played Crimson and Grey the school song and the National Anthem and of course Pomp and Circumstance. My graduation was not the end of me visiting the stadium. I watched my niece cheer for Clearwater For Youth on Saturday afternoons and I have attended my siblings Graduations and Band Competitions since.

So it seems strange with so much history and life in the stadium that the school officials would have the graduation at a stadium a mile or so away. Oh it is nice and fancy and has more seats and a jumbo tron screen with fireworks but I know kids don't look around and remember all their high school memories as I did and do each time I go to Jack White stadium.

I was thinking tonight about the band directors Mr. Hacker that past away when I was a Sophomore and Mr. Smith and Mr. Kelsey and also the drum major when I was a Freshman and Sophomore Wendell. He did flips across the field as the band marched on the field and Jay and Bill and Chris and Wendy just a few more drum majors. Then there were the people I marched next to. Tony and Dwight and Bill. Sandra and Jane and Kim. My other friend Kim that was a majorette and all the Tornadoettes and all the flag girls. I don't even think they have Tornadoettes anymore. 30 years and I remember names and places we stood on the field and in parade line up and even some of the music we played. Lionel Richie's Still. The song has a section that the music gets quiet and at that point we turned to face away from the stadium and as the music builds back up we turned back towards the stadium. The details I remember marching under the stadium and feeling the vibration of the drums cadence in my chest. Beating with my heart with pride in a school that has been there for years before me and is still there 30 years later. The parents that worked selflessly making cotton candy, snow cones, pouring cokes and cooking hotdogs for all.  I still have pride in being part of the original CHS. You know there is that other one that couldn't come up with other letters to use but they are not original. They didn't even get their start until the mid 80's.

I also remember some of the football players a few All Americans in my time Terry Griggley and Hassan Jones. These were the star players in my day. I even wrote a blog last year about running into Hassan at every band members favorite after game eatery Capongna's Dugout only a block from my house. Still there still the same good food and the memories of Clearwater High and Jack White Stadium hang on the walls.

So now at 3 o'clock in the morning I want to thank Jack White for his contribution not only to my life but for his contribution to the community as well as his family for having a great website in his honor which was where I gathered most of my information on Jack. But my memories in that stadium will stay with me forever. Just like the man it was named for.

Fate

Today I learned something new about fate. Well, new to me. Fate is as old as Greek Mythology. Fate is a family business. Three sisters that control destiny.  Three sisters. I have three sisters. I do not think they were the three sisters mythology was talking about.  So as I learned this morning  these three sisters hold the thread of life. The first is the spinner of the thread when a baby is born and the second is the one that measured the length of thread and the third she cut the thread when one dies.

As some believe these three come to a new baby on the third night after being born and determine the child's fate. This is an interesting idea for me the worrier. I know they say you can beat fate but I have seen all the Final Destination movies. I knew right away in the first once you hear John Denver music it is all over for you. But there were a few that beat their fate but sooner or later I guess those sisters right the wrong that has happened and they get you. As the saying goes if you can't beat them, join them. So why worry. I make my choices and try to make everything right but in the end the end is the end and I can not change it. This may seem fatalistic. See look there is the word fate. stuck at the beginning. So today I want to write about some fate that I feel has been for the better. See sometimes when things happen it could seem terrible but in the end it was what had to happen so that the stars could align for something else to happen. That is how I think of fate.

Two things made me start thinking about this last night. I just recently dropped off a wedding album to a dear friend of mine who got married a month ago.I was so glad I could share his special moment with him and his new wife and family. Small wedding at the courthouse then we went to the Botanical Gardens and took some beautiful pictures. The next day they had a barbecue picnic reception. It was great to see old friends that we had not seen in a while and new family members. So the fate that got us to that point I guess now that I know the definition is not fate but maybe Devine intervention. But when I got fired from my last job she was the person they hired. And that is how he and she met. See I had to loose my job so she could get the job so they could meet and get married. That was a lot of work to get those two together. Now I have always said that loosing that job was the best thing that ever happened to me. Well now that makes three.

The second thing that had me thinking about Fate last night was that at work I had my monthly review. Now if I go back over the last year I have cried during more of these reviews than I care to admit but over the last few months no tears. It was not that I was upset by what they said it was the fear of what they could say. See for a long time I have still lived in fear of whomever is speaking to me from a boss point of view because of the boss at that job that I got fired from. Well my last supervisor who is the boss type that scares some people. I told him I like a boss that tells it like it is. I used to work for an awesome lady at Eckerd that most would have not wanted for a boss but for me I liked that as long as you did what you were supposed to be doing she left you to do it. If you had a question you better ask that was what she was there for and when you made a mistake she let you know. Well this last supervisor of mine was very similar in his ways. And he encouraged me to be more self confident and after the last shift bid which I cried because I was worried I would not get the shift I needed so I could still take care of my mom on Fridays like I have been for the last year. I got the days off but have had to work until 10 which gave me extra time at night when it was slow to take some online classes which Bright house offers. I decided that I would take ones that had to do with self confidence and with working with different types of people. I have taken 16 such courses over the last 5 months and I have seen a noticeable difference in my perception of others around me and of myself. I have learned about traits that I have and how to resolve conflicts better and how not to be defensive when someone is being critical and how to take ownership of my own mistakes and move on. Not to dwell on them.  So the supervisor I have now only recently got promoted to supervisor and she has take me on with the approach to help build my self confidence by reassuring me that I do a good job almost daily. Both of them have encouraged me to do things that I might have not wanted to do but only because I lacked the confidence to do it. So as we started to go over my six month review she asked me first how I thought I did. I told her I thought I meet expectations but could do better. I do enough to get by but should be able to do more. Just getting by. She said really. Just getting by. Well then she said what my rank was for this shift bid and I was surprised. I thought I would be in the middle of the pack hopefully ranked high enough to still have my Friday Saturday off so I could still help my mom. But ready to deal with whatever came my way. No tears of worry. Just gonna do what I have to do to get things taken care of. Then she told me that I do not just skate by that I do an outstanding job not just a meets. So I got to pick the shift I wanted and no tears were shed. I get embarrassed as people say things that are good about me. To me it is just doing my job nothing extra. But she assured me that it is and that the classes I have taken have helped me a lot at work.

A lot of things have come together recently for me both in my head and in real life. They are two totally different things. In my head I usually go through every worse case scenario before whatever is going to happen happens and then realize that it is not always going to be the bad thing that is going to happen. Sometimes as with recently there are good things going to happen. I am glad I am more receptive to the good things and worry less about what could happen.

So I am good with the three sisters of Fate. They have already spun my thread and measured its length now I have to do the best I can with the time I have and not worry about hearing the John Denver music. When it comes it comes.

Social Media is killing Social Skills

It is always the same in the middle of the night I cannot sleep. Tonight it is hot. I can not believe it is only April and it is this stinking hot out. Which you know when you are agitated there is nothing worse than being hot.  So what has got me hot under the collar tonight. I have broached this subject before but I think I am the only one reading or maybe just the only one that understands the message.

Social Media is killing human beings social skills. I know I have mentioned Emily Post before but if you are under 30 or even 40 or 80 and do not understand proper social etiquette maybe you should not be able to post things on the Internet. I have recently realized the only thing that has a better memory than me is the Internet. The Internet never forgets the stupid things you have said or done. So if you want to forget the stupid things you do in life do not post them on the Internet. Ever. Do not post stupid things your friends are doing. The stupid thing they did last night they may not want to remember or have their mom find out tomorrow. And for those of you that are the mothers and fathers of today's children please do not air your dirty laundry on the Internet for the amusement of others it is not amusing and when your children grow up and google your name do you want them to know how stupid you were or still are.

I have been tossing around the idea on giving up on FB friends and letting go of something I sometimes enjoy and other times despise. Do I let go of everything or just the people that make me this upset? I feel like I must refer back to the beginning when I started to write this blog that I gave myself rules and I shared some of my life rules which have served me well for these last 40 odd years. So rule Number One: Never Go Back. So if I cut the ties with you tonight or tomorrow there is probably no turning back for me. Or there is the clean slate. Delete everyone and start fresh. Just remove the people that make me mad. See I don't have a problem with people having a different opinion than mine if it is valid or if you are going to be an idiot be an idiot towards everyone. So everyone knows you are an idiot. What you do not realize is that this is not the first time we have been at this cross roads. You have been there with others before and they have either deleted you or blocked you. Which are both viable options. I keep giving you another chance and another chance and you just don't seem to get it. My friendship is valuable and at some point I think yours was to but now we are at a point I don't really think we are or ever were really friends. Mostly because you don't think that my feelings matter or those that are close to me.

See how vague I am being it is because my first rule in blogging was not to use any one's name and to never be hurtful directly to another person. If you think this is about you well pick up an Emily Post book and rethink your life. But odds are with me on this one. If this is about you, well you would never imagine that it could be about you because you have never spoken anything but the truth and if the truth hurts well you don't give a crap about that either.

I think the thing that bothers me the most is how self serving some people can be. I have friends that I never would have thought to be friends until I saw some of the things they post. They share their heart. Now I know that everything in the world is not sunshine and roses and I am not saying don't share when it is not but really everyday of your life does not suck and if it does change it. I try like hell to change myself for the better and over the years because I remember I know I am now better than I was 20 years ago. I know I still have faults to work on but I try. And some days I fail. Today is not going to be a failure. So if you think moving on is right for you that is fine move on. Delete me or remove yourself and by a journal. Please. Save me from deleting you. I try really hard to not give up on you to hope there is good in your heart but if there is not. Well at least now we are both clear on that.

See I always post a link to my blog on the old FB but not today. This is a self serving blog and I am going to get the guilty pleasure of not sharing it with you. If you found it great and if not your loss.